Story Sent in by Autumn:
During my date with Will, he lifted up his shirt a little to show me a knife strapped to his waist. Thing was, it wasn't even like a Swiss Army knife or pocket knife. It was a regular kitchen knife. And when I say "strapped" to his waist, I don't mean like in a case. I mean that it was just taped there.
"In case anyone gives you any trouble," he explained. How very reassuring.
During dinner, he took out the knife and twirled it around a bit before taping it back to his pants. I guess that he was trying to look cool. In actuality, it made him look unhinged.
After dinner, we walked outside for a little bit before our next destination. His hand kept going to his knife. I asked him, "Expecting trouble?"
He replied, "Always."
Great. The plan had been to go play pool, but I was liking Will less and less. He kept patting his knife and looking around at everyone we passed as if he was ready to pick a fight.
As we neared the pool hall, every worst-case scenario passed through my mind and so I decided to bow out. My hand went to my stomach and I made a sound of discomfort.
Will was on it at once. "Everything okay?" he asked, "Is someone giving you trouble?"
"No," I said, "I think something at lunch just didn't agree with me. I think I should go lie down. I'm sorry."
Will was clearly disappointed, but he was polite and he offered to grab me anything I needed. I thanked him and went home. He emailed me after a couple of times to check on me, and I told him I was fine. He didn't ask me out a second time and I'm grateful for that.
"After dinner, we walked outside for a little bit before our next destination."
ReplyDeleteHE'S CARRYING A KNIFE, YOU MORON.
Just sayin'.
I know, badger. So many serial killer scenarios went through my head. At least she left eventually.
ReplyDelete*said in the style of a clueless moron*
ReplyDelete"Oh...... so you have a knife taped under your shirt in case anyone gives you trouble like me when you try to rape me at knife point? Sounds good! Let's get some lunch, I'm starving like Marvin!"
If you picture Will as a Jihadist, it kinda makes sense...
ReplyDeleteAfter dinner, we walked outside for a little bit before our next destination. His hand kept going to his knife. I asked him, "Expecting trouble?"
ReplyDeleteHe replied, "Always."
Dinner Whore, meet Dinner Pimp!
The scary part is that he is the least scary date of the past 3 stories.
ReplyDeleteEveryone is being very judgemental. I also always carry a knife on me at all times. In case of, you know..... cake.
ReplyDeleteI feel like this might have been a date with Dwight Schrute.
ReplyDeleteTry it's cool when the ladies have little knives. I carry one in my bra just in case I gotta cut a bee och. But a guy with a knife crudely taped to himself sounds like trouble. Sorry for the double standard but woop there it is...
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one who thought this story would end with him bending the wrong way and stabbing himself with his own knife?
ReplyDeleteI have nothing against sensible people being armed. Hell, I'm armed half the time, myself! But taping an un-sheathed knife to yourself (disregard for basic knife safety) and taking it out every few minutes to wave it around (disregard for op-sec) is NOT "sensible".
Ellendra, could you define 'sensible people' and 'armed', please? Combining the two in a single sentence seems an oxymoron.
ReplyDelete^ I'll give the definitions a try, Badger.
ReplyDeleteArmed - Carrying a weapon.
Sensible people - Non-liberals.
My concealed-carry weapon of choice? Glock 27.
Badgerdaddy, "sensible people" are the ones who also carry ammo for their armament.
ReplyDeleteSensible people realize that .40 caliber is a practical compromise between a 9mm and a .45....
ReplyDeleteWho knew we had so many gun enthusiasts?! I'm actually into sport fishing myself.
ReplyDelete"Sensible people" = People who carry a weapon that they know how to use properly, for their own defense and/or the defense of those around them. Sensible people do not carry weapons for the sole purpose of waving them around to make themselves look macho. In fact, sensible people recognize that it's better if no one knows they're armed unless they need to.
ReplyDeleteSensible people recognize that the police only get there several minutes after they get the call, and that someone has to survive long enough to make that call.
Sensible people recognize that, while violence is rarely the answer, it is at times the only answer.
Sensible people know their own limitations. A skinny old woman with osteoarthritis is never going to beat a 200-pound gangbanger with her bare hands. But she can carry a gun that will do that job for her, if it ever becomes necessary.
Sensible people know that there is evil in the world, and while they hope they never have to look that evil in the eye, they had better be prepared for it, because they aren't the ones who decide who the rapists and murderers will target.
Just like fire extinguishers and tire jacks, there are things you hope you never need, but you still keep them around. I've never had to pull my revolver on anyone, and I pray I never have to. But I've had friends who were murdered, in my "safe, quiet town". I refuse to be helpless.
Remember, guns don't solve problems. Bullets solve problems, when projected in the right direction at a high enough velocity.
ReplyDeleteI'm officially chubb'd for Ellendra, pending verification of bewbs...
ReplyDelete