I Don't Want It That Way

Story Sent in by Daisy:

Zachary was a blind date whose claim to fame was a baseball record at a local high school. He told me all about his storied sports career, how he almost did a stint in the minors, but how he left it all behind to be an impersonator of A. J. McLean from the Backstreet Boys.

At dinner he told me, "I'm still hands-down one of the best impersonators who's ever lived. More than half of it comes down to looks. And have you seen some of those other guys? They look more like Mama Cass than A. J."

I had never seen one McLean impersonator, much less others. He broke into a full-volume chorus of She's a Dream. I pretended to be interested. He spent the rest of the meal talking in his A. J. McLean voice and pretending he actually was A. J. McLean.

Once dinner was over we went to a beach-side string of shops. Inside a quiet corner of an antique store, he asked me, "Want to know what it's like to be kissed by A. J. McLean?"

I said that maybe a second date would be a better time. He asked me if I was sure, and I told him I was. He asked me if I was really sure, and I said, "Maybe if you were Nick Carter."

"Ugh!" Zachary gagged, then barked, I guess to imply that he thought poor Nick was like a dog. Well whatever. Bottom line, Zachary never found out what it was like to be kissed by me.