Story Sent in by James:
I was on a subway with Beverly on our way downtown when she said, "I need batteries. Is it okay if we stop somewhere so I can grab them?"
"Sure," I said, not minding a slight detour.
Once we were out of the subway, we went to a nearby electronics store. Once inside, Beverly literally cleaned the shelves of batteries. She took every AA, AAA, C, and D package they had on display. She asked me to help her bag them and carry them, and they were as heavy as anything. She put them all on her charge card and we lugged them to our dinner destination, right across the street.
Not long after sitting down, I asked her, "Why do you need so many batteries?"
"For all of my devices," she said, "I like to stock up."
I joked, "And why did you choose tonight to stock up? Because I'm a 'big, strong man' who can help you carry them home?"
She gasped and said, "No! No! Of course not! I wouldn't take advantage of you. I can bring them home, myself."
"Are you sure?" I asked, resigned that she'd likely ask me to help her, "They're really heavy."
"No, thanks. I got it."
After dinner, I helped her bring them back onto the subway. The bottoms tore out of two of the bags and so it became a bit of a catastrophe. Still, even after I had again offered to hop off with her at her stop and help her carry them home, she insisted that she'd be able to handle it all.
"I'd actually prefer it if you didn't see me home," she finally said after the dozenth time I'd offered to help, "Not on a first date."
Shortly before her stop, I helped her gather the bags and batteries. She thanked me and hobbled out of the subway. The doors closed between us and I was whisked away without so much as a goodnight. I can only hope that she called a taxi to bring her home. As she never replied to my follow-up messages, I guess I'll never know.
So you couldn't just shut up after the fifth time she answered you? Not shocked you didn't hear from her again. She didn't want you coming to her house, and you kept pestering her, which makes you the bad date.
ReplyDeleteDamn, she should really invest in some rechargeable batteries for that industrial-sized vibrator she has at home. No EVS there!
ReplyDeletemaybe she never got your text because her phone ran out of batteries
ReplyDeleteI just imagine her at home powering up some weird Rube Goldberg machine.
ReplyDeleteBatteries are for flashlights. Go team Hitachi!
ReplyDeleteUs ladies love our "devices".
ReplyDeleteANALYSIS TIME!
ReplyDeleteI joked, "And why did you choose tonight to stock up? Because I'm a 'big, strong man' who can help you carry them home?"
OP makes a "joke" in an attempt to invite himself over to Beverly's house.
She gasped and said, "No! No! Of course not! I wouldn't take advantage of you. I can bring them home, myself."
Beverly rejects him politely.
"Are you sure?" I asked, resigned that she'd likely ask me to help her, "They're really heavy."
OP is still under the delusion that Beverly is interested in him.
"No, thanks. I got it."
She isn't.
Still, even after I had again offered to hop off with her at her stop and help her carry them home
OP doesn't understand how to take "no" for an answer.
"I'd actually prefer it if you didn't see me home," she finally said after the DOZENTH time I'd offered to help, "Not on a first date."
OP, being a major creep, harasses Beverly repeatedly in an attempt to find out where she lives and go back home with her.
As she never replied to my follow-up messages, I guess I'll never know.
OP, lacking all self-awareness, doesn't seem to understand at all what a creeper he was being.
Look OP, if this is how you date, I bet a LOT of women get really nervous and creeped out by you. You seriously need to tone it down and learn to respect women's "no" signals.
Ironic. You think she's the bad date because of the batteries. Unusual? Sure. But the harassment and the delusion that the batteries were a ploy to lure "big, strong" you back to her home makes you the clear winner (or loser?).
ReplyDelete