What Does the Faux Say?

Story Sent in by Christa:

I know a bit more than average about cars, so when Robert invited me over to help him wash his Maserati, I could tell at once that only the body was anything resembling an Italian luxury car. The engine looked like it came out of a Mazda. At best.

The whole time, though, he bragged about how he "got such a deal" on a "real" luxury car. For reference, Robert worked part-time in a comic store. Seemed nice enough online, but would not shut up about his fake Maserati, in person.

At first I was polite. He knew I liked vehicles and knew some things about them (hence him asking me over to help him with his car on a first date). I think he didn't think I knew enough to realize that his car was fake, though. He went from bragging about it to straight-on lying to me about how the car was a "chick magnet" and that he normally had a steady stream of women ready to jump his bones because of his amazing car.

Finally I couldn't take it and I asked him how much he had paid for it. He made up a number, something like $85,000. He again mentioned what a deal he had received on it.

I told him, "That's a lot to pay for a Maserati without a Maserati engine."

That caught him off guard, and his face registered just about every emotion imaginable before he ultimately told me to "get the hell off" his property and never come back. I suppose it was just as well. By that night, he had probably forgotten all about me, what with all the chicks breaking his door down to ride in his little clunker.