12/16/2013

Stalk Market

Story Sent in by Hattie:

Peter approached me out of the blue in my college library. He said that he was in my business class and asked if he could study with me. Why not? We spent about a half-hour working together and then he stood up and said that he'd see me in class.

When I returned to my dorm, he was waiting outside for me. He asked if we could do more studying together, that night. I was done studying and I told him that we could meet up again some other time. I then asked him if he also lived in my dorm. He said he did, and he followed me in. He offered to walk me to my room, but I politely declined and parted ways with him.

That morning, my roommate woke me to say that there was some dude asleep in the hallway outside our room. I peeped through the door and saw that it was Peter. I closed the door and called campus security. Through the closed door's peephole, I saw a guard swing by, wake him up, and usher him out without any further incident.

When I left my dorm for the day, there was Peter, waiting for me outside. "Hey," he said, "I thought we'd walk together."

I asked, "Why did you sleep outside my room? That's super creepy."

He smirked at me, then knelt down on the ground in front of me and asked me to marry him. I sidestepped him and hurried away to class. He didn't follow me, and I didn't see him for the rest of the day. That evening when I returned though, he was waiting outside the dorm again. He didn't see me and from afar, I called campus security on him again. This time, after they had chased him away, I approached the guard to let her know that he had been creeping me out for the past day.

She told me to keep my guard up and call whenever I felt unsafe. She also told me that security would increase patrols around my dorm, for which I was grateful. She also told me that he wasn't even a student at the school! Can you imagine?

I didn't see him again until a little while later. He came up to me in one of the quads to tell me that he had lost interest in me "for obvious reasons" and that he was seeing someone else. I told him that he needed to leave me alone before I called campus security on him.

As he left, he said, "That's the other thing about my new girlfriend: she never calls security on me."

"Inflatable dolls can't call anyone," I called after him, "Get lost!" And thankfully, he did.

13 comments:

  1. It's always a wise move to antagonize mentally unstable stalkers...

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  2. You're never going to get laid with those ridiculously high standards of yours.

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  3. Does anybody else feel like the last line was made up? One of those "Ah... I should have said that" moments.

    Also, gotta say Steve is spot on with this one.

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  4. Does anybody else feel like the last line was made up? One of those "Ah... I should have said that" moments.

    Also, gotta say Steve is spot on with this one.

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  5. A girlfriend who DOESN'T call the cops on him? Sounds crazy, but I suppose everyone needs a fantasy.

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  6. "That's the other thing about my new girlfriend: she never calls security on me."

    "Inflatable dolls can't call anyone,"

    Neither can corpses.

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  7. This story seems fake cause first off if he asked her to study wouldn't she notice that he didn't have the books on him? It obvious she wanted him from the beginning but when he got too clingy she became creeped out.

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  8. Blue, that may be one of the most astute calls you've made in all your commenting, congrats. If you keep going for new lows like this, you'll displace the Mariana Trench.

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  9. ^ Love the Die Hard themed links! Puts me in mind of the season :-)

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  10. OP is a drama queen. Peter never did anything threatening; he was just annoying and clueless.

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  11. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  12. Aww Fizziks, it okay to be jealous cause you aren't me. After all there can only be one blue blue.

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  13. Christopher Cully be trollin'.

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