Story Sent in by Phil:
On date one with Virginia, she sat across from me during dinner and told me that she was engaged.
"But I don't want to be engaged anymore," she explained, "I want out."
I asked, "Does your fiancé know you're having second thoughts?"
She said, "No way. He punched through a wall once when he was served the wrong type of salad dressing."
I suggested, "Maybe we're better off being friends."
She shrugged and the rest of dinner was full of awkward, stilted small talk.
After dinner, we took a walk and during it, she stopped for a second to adjust her skirt. More than adjust. She seemed to stuff it into the back of her shiny purple underwear and she turned her butt to face me and asked, "Am I all right back there?"
"Uh... no..."
"Can you fix it? I can't really reach."
I glanced around for homicidal fiancés and once I was satisfied that none were around, I pulled her skirt out and draped it back down. "Thanks," she said, her face close to mine.
I stepped back and said, "You're welcome."
She groaned and said, "God, you're dense."
I don't really see how avoiding drama made me the dense one. Anyway, the date was soon over and I didn't hear from her again.
You see how difficult it is for an engaged woman to get some stray dick before the big day. I'll pass the comment baton over to our only engaged female, Devil, for her thoughts and experience on this subject.
ReplyDeleteAs soon as she said she was engaged, you either hit it or quit it. I'm sorry OP, but you are kinda dense for just sitting around tuggin on her skirt.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Shoe 100%. What OP didn't say was that he was thinking of hitting it till he saw the big brown skid mark on her giant purple granny-panties. Then he reconsidered.
ReplyDeleteDark matter, OP. OP, dark matter. Now that the introductions are over, please go ahead and self-destruct yourselves.
ReplyDelete