Story Sent in by Joanne:
Adam brought me a bouquet of pink roses on our first date. How sweet of him! We took a walk and he said to me after a little bit, "I brought you roses. Now it's your turn to do something nice for me."
"Like what?" I asked.
He said, "Like something similar to me bringing you roses. Something nice. I'm sure you can think of something."
I thought for a moment then said, "I can take you out to a Chinese bakery that makes really good pastries!"
He liked that idea and so I took him out to the bakery, as promised. We talked and had a good time.
Once we were done there, we left to keep walking and we made it to a pretty quiet street. He turned to me and said, "Want to do another trade? I do something for you and you do something for me."
Before I could reply, he turned his back to me and pulled the back of his pants down, showing me bare ass.
I turned away and stepped back a few steps. "What's wrong?" he asked, then said, "Want to see it again?"
"No!" I said, "And I'm not going to trade you anything similar!"
"But that's not fair. You're really not going to show me anything?"
"Are you kidding me? Absolutely not!"
He said, "Then date's over. Have a nice life." He hiked his pants back up and walked away.
I kept the flowers in water and they lasted a long while, but every time I looked at them, I was reminded of his butt.
I like the cut of Adam's jib. Unsolicited gestures of
ReplyDeletekindness should be repaid with hardcore street
nudity. How we as a society think that saying a
mere "Thank you" to some $20 flowers is sufficent is beyond me. I blame the liberal media.
PS - I've never met one dude who has gifted roses
early on who wasn't a creep. Roses are like calling
cards for them.
OP, you could've just cracked a smile.
ReplyDelete@ JMG - Butt I don't think that would have been enough. He wanted a hole lot more. Maybe she could have offered him a kiss on the cheek instead.
ReplyDeleteTryN2Fly, that reminds me of a documentary I saw once, very late at night, about Alexis Arquette's religion. It was one he had founded - worshippers had to be able to self-fellate with a bunch of roses stuck up their arses.
ReplyDeleteIt was part of a double bill with the scariest documentary I have ever seen. Something about a horse...
(_|_) <== OP's view.
ReplyDeleteI've never been very religious, but your comment badgerdaddy has me feeling spiritual.
ReplyDeleteAmen.
ReplyDeleteA Chunky Horse?
ReplyDeleteThese nutters make it so much harder for the rest of us...
ReplyDeleteThe second he said 'Now you need to do something nice for me,' the first time, was a big clue on how his mind worked and that he'd probably try to guilt you into sex.
ReplyDeleteThe moment he said that, I would've told him that you're not actually being nice if you're doing something just to get something out of the person, given back the flowers, and walked away.