Susan and I were out stargazing on a date in a clearing. Not long after we had set out the blanket, I pointed to what I thought was Venus and said, "I think that's Venus."
She said, "That isn't Venus. It's the moon."
It definitely was not the moon. The moon wasn't visible (being behind a cloud). I said, "That's too small to be the moon. The moon is big and moon-like."
She asked me, "How about a bet? If you're wrong, you have to run naked around the clearing."
I said, "And if I'm right, you have to do the same."
She said, "Deal," and we shook on it.
Not too long after, the clouds drifted on and the half-moon revealed itself. "Get to it," I said to her. I wasn't, of course, going to make her do it. If she said she didn't want to do it, I wasn't going to force her. To be honest, that's what I thought would happen.
She stood up, said, "Okay," then screamed and ran for the woods. I sat up and watched her go, thinking that she was playing around. But when she never came back, I called for her and looked around for her.
The clearing was a walk from her house but a drive from mine, so my car was there. I finally gave up searching for her and left for home. I didn't hear from her again.
She's clearly dead. Or, if she's REALLY lucky, part of the Chunky Horse Harem.
ReplyDeleteThat's no moon.....It's a space station.
ReplyDeleteThis girl was clearly not a rocket scientist.
I think she was initially flirting with OP, making a stupid bet she knew she would lose, so one of them would have to get naked. When OP seemed oblivious to this, she was embarrassed, and decided to just run away...
ReplyDeleteWe should make an anthology of dates like this where the OP gave up searching, titled "The One That Ran Away".
ReplyDeleteI don't understand the gravity of this night to make her run away... I doubt it was spontaneous because she had to planet.
ReplyDeleteAnybody else care to comet?
Don't parallax me. She had her head up her asteroid but still made OP's pulsar quicken. Even with a nebulae(s) grasp on astronomy, she's the kind that can doppler shift your white dwarf to a red giant. He'd hoped core collapse into her galatic bulge. If he'd just waited a parsec he could have seen the absorption spectrum of her Schwarzschild radius instead of her escape velocity.
ReplyDeleteAnd, uh, she mooned him.
@ Fizziks - LOL! Last line made it!
ReplyDeleteSeriously you pundamentalists need to be punished.
ReplyDeleteNow, am I the only one on this site that misses KatieGirl? You ask for one little ostrich ride. but it seems there are no free ride for us Chunky Whores.
@TryN2Fly - Perhaps she's busy.
ReplyDeleteNaaaah. We all know that she's still in school.
I have little crush on fizziks. And of course I just now realized that it's "physics" Gah!
ReplyDeleteYou are cooler than ice cube!
Excuse me Ria but there is a long queue to crush on Fizziks. I rubbed the lotion on my skin while I read the "she's busy" link and finished with the pretty lawyer holding the food. I made ostrich noises, I couldn't help it. Thank you.
ReplyDelete"Now, am I the only one on this site that misses KatieGirl?"
ReplyDeleteYes. Yes you are. No worries though, I took a few law classes last year (that makes me a certified paralegal in Chad) so I know a bit of legalese and other lawyer like shit. I also have a lady business suit. My next post will be chalked full of such legal shit. I'll also try to work in minor details about the super big important serious case I'm prosecuting/defending. All nonchalantly of course because I have a degree I studied for and took finals to get. A DEGREE!!
Dry your tears TryN2Fly, Devil is here for ya.
There's room in me for all of ya. And yer kin.
ReplyDeleteTruthfully, I'd be happy to have her back if she'd just be funny for once. I made the mistake of clicking on her name and reading her blog; now I feel an even mix of sorry for her and totally horrified.
Thank you devil, thank you or should I say.... DevilGirl. I didn't realize how deeply I've missed the casual grubby law talk and the hope of future ostrich rides. I'm blubbing and rubbing, may need a mayo flotation tank to deal with the emotions.
ReplyDeleteMy sheros: Fizziks, Tryn2Fly, and DevilYouKnow. ((HUGS)) ((HUGS)) Let's all lez out in the forest together. ;)
ReplyDeleteDon't worry Steve and Howie, I still wanna do some cowgirl role play with y'all.
Also, hellooooo Ria, the Architect and B-daddy. How you doin'?
While I don't have a nut allergy, that is are lesbian, I have been known to reach for twat in an emergency or a drought or an alcohol haze or a Wednesday. Although I do like it rough I have a preference for my lez orgies to be in a milk & oil bath or a penthouse or a fetish dungeon rather than a forest but that's just me.
ReplyDeleteI very much like "shero" and can't wait to wear my big stained nanna pants on the outside of my dress and get out there and fight crime and do good.
I come for the awful dates, but stay for the comments.
ReplyDelete@ Tanette - How YOU doin'?
ReplyDeleteI also miss KatieGirl, but just because I want to talk with her some more about my cat. Her "boyfriend" and my cat have so much in common. They should meet!
Hey there tanette, our resident mama! .:-)
ReplyDeleteTryN2Fly: Does this help tide you over?
ReplyDeleteReading these stories makes me grateful for what I have in my....
NOOOOOOO! I can't do it! I thought I could, but I can't!
*reaches for the gasoline, douses self, strikes a match, ends it all*
I'm doin' good, Baby. How you doin'? ;) Y'all are awesome!
ReplyDeleteBut Connie, how will you get thru finals with third degree burns and manage your caseload?!?
ReplyDeleteMy cat was able to put me out! Wow Architect was right, these things are better than men.
ReplyDeleteIn all honesty, finals really did bring out the worst in me as well. One time I accused a bunch of people on a message board I regularly commented on that they sucked at relationships because they were on a bad date story website. I mean, really. What kinds of losers comment on those?
*wanders smugly away without a hint of irony*
I rule.