Story Sent in by Beulah:
A gas station? That's where Don asked me to meet him for our first date. He told me to trust him on it. When I parked and waited outside for him, he pulled up and said, "Get in. We're going to have a 10-minute vacation."
I wasn't about to step into his car the first time I met him, so I asked him if I could follow him in my car. He said, "How about we compromise?"
I said, "Okay, what do you sugg–"
He pulled away, out of the gas station, and out of sight. The date was over, so I went into my car and planned to drive away when he suddenly pulled his car in behind me, having apparently just gone around the block.
He jumped out of his car, ran up to my window, and said, "Come with me. Time for a 10-minute vacation."
"Not interested," I replied.
He went back to his car and drove away again. I pulled out of the gas station. By the time I had gone a couple of blocks, I was stopped at a traffic light and he pulled up next to me, rolled down his window, and yelled, "Hey! I want to take you on a 10-minute vacation!"
The light finally turned green and I drove around for a while before he gave up following me. He called me later in the day and left a voicemail with the sound of him belching. It seems I really missed out on someone special.
I don't know why Beulah (damn, that's a hot name) balked at Don's generous offer of a ten minute vacation. Last I heard, being sexually assaulted and murdered behind a gas station is one of those life experiences that one treasures for ten whole minutes. You sure as shit can't find that kind of getaway on priceline.com.
ReplyDeleteThe belch added that touch of class that every 10-minute vacation deserves. Was the gas station a Sheetz at least? Those places are pretty nice. I couldn't pick a better gas station to get raped behind.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about Don... after this failed date, he ran into a certain female lawyer that is near and dear to all of our hearts... Her sheer aura of awesomeness has willed him into the manifestation of the GREATEST. BOYFRIEND. EVARRR.
ReplyDeleteFrankly,
Steve
Are you talking about me, Steve? Surely you're aware that I already have the bestest boyfriend in the whole wide world, Art Vandelay. There's no way I would date someone who visited a gas station! Those things are decidedly blue collar and not where professionals such as myself would ever frolic.
ReplyDeleteBoldly,
DevilYouKnow (aka LadyLawyerSupreme)
I'm saving up for that once in a life time raped behind a gas station vacation. It will take a while so currently happy to be fingered on the bus by random homeless dudes.
ReplyDeleteDevil, you know Jared changes the names. Don = Art.
ReplyDeleteHow very dare you Steve! I will sue you for libel, slander and other infractions tomorrow! I hope you have a bold lawyer!
ReplyDeleteGet a room you two, or perhaps a gas station. Devil likes it rough & rapey. Or a bus ticket.
ReplyDeletehello dude, everyone knows you should offer cheap wine with that cheap vacay.
ReplyDelete@ Blue Blue - I believe the gas station specializes in a wide variety of malt liqueurs.
ReplyDeleteGas stations in PA don't have alcohol... :-(
ReplyDelete