Story Sent in by James:
At the restaurant dinner table, Aretha took out one of those daily pill boxes, the ones with the sections for pills based on day of the week. Each section was filled to capacity with different-colored tablets and pills. She opened up the Sunday section even though it wasn't Sunday (it was Thursday) and consumed all of the pills like M&Ms. Then she moved on to the Monday box and downed all the pills in that section, too. She then put the pill box away, caught me staring, and asked, "What?"
"Nothing," I said, then asked her about her athletic records. She apparently held a few, at least at the high school/college level.
She said, "No, you'd rather talk about my pills. Go on. Ask away."
I replied, "I really don't care about your pills. As long as they keep you healthy."
"Sane, you mean. You think I'm insane and that's why I need pills."
"No."
"You're wrong! I need pills because... I'm a runner. They're special athletic athlete pills," I believe was the exact quote.
It dawned on me that she could've taken her pills before we were out together, or even excused herself to take them in the restroom. The fact that she took them at the table in full view meant that she must've wanted me to see her do it. Why? I couldn't guess. Still can't. The rest of the date was about the same. She kept on bringing the conversation back to her pills. I didn't press the issue at all, but she really wanted me to ask her about them for some reason. I didn't give her the pleasure.
What you want?
ReplyDeleteBaby I got it!
What you need?
You know I've got it!
All I'm asking
Is for a little prescription when you get home!
M-T-W-T-F-S-S Find out what pills to take!
M-T-W-T-F-S-S Take care Abilify!
Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me.....
She had an ex-BF that dumped her due to her excessive need of medication, and overall level of cray-cray.
ReplyDeleteSeeking closure, she finds guys online to go out with, as a surrogate BF of sorts. She then can lash out after they comment on her pills, giving her the closure she craves.
Work is over but I can't stay to work late
ReplyDeleteGot to leave and get ready for my second date
With a pretty girl that I met at the pharmacy
Right in the prescription line
I take a pill for my social anxiety
I get a table and a nice bottle of chablis
Now it's getting late and there's still no sign of her
I have another glass of wine
All I know is the wine lasts longer when you don't gotta share it with someone
All I know is the steak tastes better when I take my steak-tastes-better pill
- Jonathan Coulton, "I Feel Fantastic"
Well, there's no reason to think that she used the "week" pill case as intended, and put "Monday" in "Monday", etc. You wouldn't carry that in your purse anyway. Maybe each represented a meal's worth or something.
ReplyDeleteThere was a brief time when I needed to take about 20 pills each day, mostly various vitamin-y things. Though I didn't do it at restaurant tables.
But still, pretty bad date.
@ Jason - I don't think you're supposed to take that many Viagra "vitamin-y things" a day.
ReplyDelete"It dawned on me that she could've taken her pills before we were out together..."
ReplyDeleteOP, you've either never had a prescription before or you've been doing it wrong if you honestly think you can take a prescription any time you want. Lots of them also have requirements like "must take with food", "don't eat for two hours before/after", "take with at least X amount of water", etc.
They could have been supplements and not medication but those probably have to be taken with food too.
"or even excused herself to take them in the restroom."
That doesn't even make sense. Why should she go to the bathroom to take a pill? You might as well argue that the two of you should have eaten your meal in the bathroom. Swallowing some pills is a lot more like eating than it is like taking a dump.
OP, you seem to think that she should have hidden this from you and I don't understand why.
I don't think she should have accused you of thinking she was crazy or insisting on making it an issue after you tried to drop it but the fact that she took her pills at the table doesn't mean anything.
^ heh. You're nuts.
ReplyDelete@rectpropagation
ReplyDeleteHer accusing him of judging her either means she was baiting him or it means she was overly worried about what he would think. If she were worried about her appearance, she could just go to the toilet and save herself the headache. That she did not means that she either misjudged her conformism grossly (unlikely), or that she was baiting him.
@rectpropagation
ReplyDeleteYou've missed the point in your zeal to point out how important people who take pills are. I know our society has devolved into "I'm so important and nothing I do should be questioned evah but please LOOK AT ME!", but not everyone is down with that line of thinking. Normal people don't swallow a medicine cabinet in front of another person they barely know without expecting a few questions or even a weird look. And you know, this was a date. That's one of those social occasions where, ideally, you're trying to put your best foot forward, not drag out your medical history or secrets about doping.
We've all had to take prescription meds at some odd time before, but unless you have Münchausen syndrome or you're four years old and need your mommy to crush your pills for you, there's no need to make pill time drama time.
Love me some Munchausen.
ReplyDeleteThis date sounds like a pain in the aspirin.
ReplyDeleteDon't be such an Anusol next time and pre-judge. Aleve you alone now. Cialis later!
^ That's some Fizziks bait if I ever saw any!
ReplyDeleteSometimes I like to pull out a really oversized tablet on a date so I look petite in comparison. I also carry stunt panties in my purse, three sizes smaller than mine. If I get lucky, I leave them at the guys place so the next day, when they are sober & find them, they think they were luckier than they were.
ReplyDeleteDoes anybody else think this may have been a "subtle" way of telling him she was HIV-positive?
ReplyDeleteArchitect: I can't go more than 6 hours straight without a little "vitamin" help!
ReplyDelete"Her accusing him of judging her either means she was baiting him or it means she was overly worried about what he would think."
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree. That's why I said that she shouldn't have made the accusation at all or turned it into a huge deal. But that doesn't mean that taking medication at the table was weird or that she could have taken them at a different time.
"You've missed the point"
ReplyDeleteNo, I haven't missed the point, you just disagree with me. I think that taking a pill isn't a huge deal or something that needs to happen in secret. You think someone taking their medication in public is a cry for attention.
The only reason the date taking pills is noteworthy is because of her freak out. Had she just said, "It was time for me to take my supplements" we wouldn't be hearing about it. Taking the pills was a non-event.
Op, you missed out! her pills were to make her cray cray horny, and then give you the best pleasure you ever got. too bad you should have asked.
ReplyDelete