A while ago, I was on a first and only date with Lisa. My lips must've been noticeably chapped, because she asked me if I wanted any Chapstick. I said I did. She took some out and I took it from her.
When I took it, I realized it was lipstick. I handed it back to her and told her so.
"It's Chapstick," she said, "Just put it on."
"It's lipstick and I'm not putting it on."
As if to prove me wrong, she applied it to her own lips, turning them a freaky bright shade of red. "See?" she said, "Chapstick!"
I had never seen anything so frightening. By the time she was done, she looked like she had eaten something bloody. She handed the lipstick back to me and once more, I declined.
"Then suffer in silence," she said. Her lips truly looked grotesque. It had to have been some weird sort of stunt. I don't understand how she couldn't have known it was lipstick, and if she did, I don't know what she was trying to pull. I don't even remember how the date ended, but the image of her with those bright red lips will haunt me forever.
Awe, OP....Why so SERIOUS?!
ReplyDeleteMaybe she had a thing for Heath Ledger...
ReplyDeleteOr Robert Smith from The Cure.
ReplyDeleteThe image of a woman's bright red lips from lipstick will haunt you forever? Don't visit McDonald's, they got some dude there with big ass red lips. He will eat your liver with fava beans and a nice bottle of chianti IN YOUR DREAMS.
ReplyDelete"A freaky bright shade of red". I do believe the formal name is Cock Sucker Red, ask any professional make up artist. OP, when a woman paints a big red target under her nose she wants you to fuck her mouth, and you got frightened. Perhaps you should hand your penis back where you got if from as you clearly won't be needing it.
ReplyDeleteExcept for her trying to make him put some on, I'm on team Lisa. Also, why don't you have any chapstick, OP? Especially on a date when you're supposed to be trying to impress. Also, Steve would have jumped on the opportunity to have red lipstick on a certain place of his anatomy, while Stephen aka OP, would take a more sexless path. ;)
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