That's Not All That's Dank

Story Sent in by Katherine:

Josh and I had a good first date. We went out to dinner and even sneaked around in some hotels. After we parted ways, I headed home.

I was in my pajamas and watching The Departed when he called me up. I answered the phone and he said, "Hey, I had a good time together. Want to go out again?"

I did have a good time, and although he was calling back a bit soon, I didn't really have a problem with it. I told him, "Sure, when were you thinking?"

He asked, "Now. I can pick you up."

It was close to midnight. I was in my pjs, in bed, with a good movie on. We had just seen each other. It was out of the question. I told him that I was flattered by his interest, but that some other time in the near future would be better.

"Um, okay," he said, "You didn't have a good time?"

I said, "I had a great time. A second date so soon after the first might spoil things."

He replied, "Fresh meat never spoils. Where are you? I can pick you up."

Creeped out, I said, "I'm going to bed. I'll talk to you soon."

"No! Your meat–"

I hung up. He called back and left two voicemails. The first one said, "Just let me know when I can pick you up. I'll be awake for a while." The second one said, "If you've been in bed, would you mind putting on some lotion before we hang out? Bed-smell can be dank."

There was no second date ever.


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