Story Sent in by Tracy:
I was out on my first date with Paul. We had eaten lunch and were on a cross-town walk when his phone rang. He checked the caller ID and handed me the phone. It was the name of some girl I didn't recognize. He said, "Answer it."
I hesitated. What was he playing at? He again said, "Answer it."
"Why, who is it?"
"Just tell her that I'm in bed."
"No! Is it your ex, or something?"
"No! Answer it!"
"It is your ex, isn't it?"
"Yes, now answer it–!"
Too late. The ringing stopped. He shoved his phone back in his pocket in a huff and said, "You couldn't even do that, for me? What if I had asked you to do something even more important, like make babies? Going to wait until it's too late, on that?"
Oh, God! I told this wacko, "In your case? I'd probably wait forever."
We were on a bridge, and he stopped walking and leaned on the rail and looked out over the traffic. He said, "Yeah, that's all I got for you today, so bye."
Yep. Bye. I left him there and returned home.
It's best to make babies early and often...
ReplyDeleteThats all he has for you *TODAY*. Next week you could probably have sex twice on his trash covered mattress while his twin watches.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sad loser.
ReplyDeleteHe had the courtly air and genteel breeding of a bank robber screaming at his getaway driver.
ReplyDeleteI disagree, Architect. A demanding bully that's not over his ex an makes unnecessary swipes at her imaginary reproductive choices? Sounds like a keeper. Too bad OP lost out.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm LOVING the trend of ladies not taking this crap. But how am I supposed to use other people's bad choices to feel better about myself if this keeps up? Help a fat bitch out here, Jared.
ReplyDelete^ You could just eat another industrial sized tub of Cherry Garcia and congratulate yourself on cutting down ;-)
ReplyDelete@ Architect - not bad, but I need to replace my 50 gal drums of chocolate syrup. Ended up using the last two for my probiotic douching. Gotta feed that yeast somehow, ya know.
ReplyDeleteMmmmmmm, ever thought about brewing beer down there?
ReplyDeleteNo, but I have bottled the resultant runoff......
ReplyDeleteOk, I thought I was disgusting, but I tip my cap to you my dear. I am on the verge of vomiting; well done.
ReplyDeleteI'm curious about why he just didn't answer it himself and then tell her that he was in bed himself.
ReplyDeleteI adore, y'all! (And I am secretly jealous of your cleverness. Also, I'm gonna cut anybody who tries to get into Steve's pants, except for me of course.) What? Oh yeah. The story. OP, I'm glad you didn't put up with his crap. What a strange fellow.
ReplyDeleteWas he hoping the OP would introduce herself as his girlfriend, and thus save him the trouble of breaking up?
ReplyDelete(Had that done to me once. Someday I should find the girl and thank her.)
Dang, Ellendra, that's cold. Sorry that happened to you.
ReplyDeleteIf you ex is calling you and you don't wish to talk to them, DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE. Don't make your date answer it because you want to play some mind games that you've moved on. Grow up.
ReplyDeleteMost importantly, if this man is ordering you around on a first date, and then brings the concept of both ORDERING YOU AROUND to REPPRODUCE, RUN FOR THE HILLS.
Not only is that emotionally immature, it can be potentially dangerous. Good move for the OP. Might be an indicator of future abusive/controlling behavior.
I'd also like to know, as mentioned above, why he didn't just answer the phone and say, hey, I'm out on a date, whats up? I think that would have the same affect as "I'm in bed." With this Christian Grey nonsense going on, maybe he thought most women liked to be ordered around?
ReplyDeleteWhat ever happened to women obeying men without question? In he 1950's this girl would have enjoyed a good ol' fashioned backhanded pimp slap for saying no to her date.
ReplyDeleteSigh...I miss the good old days. Where men were men, and women were afraid of their men.