Story Sent in by Jennifer:
Wesley and I were out on our very first date, on a chilly night, when we sat down at a park picnic table together to look out over a nearby river. I watched a couple of small boats sailing up the river, but when I looked over at Wesley, next to me, he was leaning at me with his eyes closed and his lips pursed. I asked him, "Are you trying to kiss me?"
"Yeah!" he said, and remained in the same position, eyes closed, lips pursed.
It was comical, and not really all that romantic. I said to him, "Wesley, um, come on. Open your eyes."
He remained there, eyes closed, lips pursed. I lost my patience and snapped, "Wesley! Cut it out."
He yelled something unintelligible, right in my face, making me jump back. He stood up, and as I watched, he ran at the water at a breakneck pace, and jumped in. He flopped around, yelling and screaming, and I took off before he made it back to shore, out of the likely freezing water. I was afraid he'd chase me and catch up, but he didn't.
What was weirder was that Wesley was a friend of a friend, and although our mutual friend and I shared a laugh over his behavior, I haven't seen Wesley since then.
I think you brought out something primal in him. When you rejcted his smooches, he headed towards the water, from whence all life came...
ReplyDeleteI also keep my eyes closed when I kiss. However, it's usually from the mace...
ReplyDeleteHuh, every time Wesley's creepy uncle pulled the kissy-face move on him, it worked....
ReplyDeleteYeah OP, that unintelligible yelling you couldn't make out...it was "OH SHIT, BEES!"
ReplyDeleteumm what is a breakneck pace? and op why didn't you just give him a quick peck? lol
ReplyDeleteA fast one and because he was weird blue blue
ReplyDeleteBlue Blue, I hope you're a guy. If a girl thinks she should have given Creepy McStupidface a quick peck just to make him stop, she needs to turn in her estrogen card.
ReplyDeleteWesley, dude, this is why you don't ask girls for permission first. Just be a man and take what is rightfully yours. Plus, everyone knows a "no is just a "yes" in disguise. So the more she resists, the more she actually wants it!
ReplyDeleteFizziks, love the creepy uncle motif. And Steve, I would never ever mace you. I did mace my brother once. We were young. We both wanted to see if the mace worked. He found out that it did. Our mother was not happy about it and it smelled up our little apartment pretty bad. Anyway, what a weirdo your date was, OP. Good instincts to get away from him. Some dudes don't take rejection well at all...
ReplyDelete"HELP I'M DROWNING, BETTER GIVE ME THE KISS OF LIFE"
ReplyDelete"Kiss of Life" - That's a Sade song
ReplyDeleteNice try, Wesley.
ReplyDelete"He flopped around, yelling and screaming, and I took off before he made it back to shore, out of the likely freezing water. I was afraid he'd chase me and catch up, but he didn't.
ReplyDeleteWhat was weirder was that Wesley was a friend of a friend, and although our mutual friend and I shared a laugh over his behavior, I haven't seen Wesley since then."
We found out three years later that he got hypothermia and drowned. But I didn't care, because there's plenty of fish out there, and dating is very much "sink or swim!"