Life of Pie

Story Sent in by Charles:

Rachel and I had been on one successful date already, and date number two was at a roller rink at a strip mall next to a bakery that made amazing desserts. After we skated for a while, fell down repeatedly, and had an overall great time, I brought her next door to the bakery.

She sat down at a table, and I offered to run up to the counter and order whatever she wanted. She asked for a slice of pie, and when I asked her what kind she wanted (they had about a dozen varieties), she told me to surprise her.

I brought her a slice of apple cranberry pie (and for me, a slice of blueberry crumb). When I told her what kind of pie, I bought her, she freaked out.

"Apple cranberry?" she said, in a loud and serious tone that I had previously not heard from her.

When I confirmed it, she said, "I'm allergic to apples. I told you. Over and over and over and over!"

Maybe my listening comprehension wasn't that great, but I swear to all that is holy/unholy that she never once told me that she was allergic to apples. I'd have likely remembered that. (Afterward, I checked the emails we had sent to each other, and there was no mention of an apple allergy at all.)

Not wanting to escalate things, I said, "I'm sorry. Want my blueberry crumb slice?"

She stood up, said, "You want me to die!" and slammed her fist down on nothing, clearly trying to hit the table. She slammed her fist down a second time, and that time, it connected. She stormed out, and I half-ran up to the counter and asked for the slices to go.

When I made it outside, I found her sitting on the curb with her head in her hands. I asked her if she was okay, and she said, "For someone you just tried to kill? I'm great, thanks."

I asked her, "So I can have your slice?"

"Choke on it," she said, then stood and strutted to her car. I was left without her, but with two slices of pie, so I felt like a winner.