Full of Frap

Story Sent in by Marcy:

Ray found me over OkCupid, came across as a rational human being, and we started our first date with a walk around town. I wore comfy red shoes for the purpose, and as we walked, he pointed at them and said, "Fripple and frapple."

"What does that mean?" I asked him.

He said, "I say it when I think of something dirty. Instead of saying the dirty thing, I say, 'fripple frapple.'"

"So my shoes made you think of something dirty?"

"Frapple fripple," he said, "That's usually a good time for you to change the subject."

We were walking past some buildings that were owned by the school where I had gone to college. I pointed them out and said something like, "These are owned by my old college."

He said, "Frapple frapple, not good enough. That makes me think of dorms and guys you had over to your dorm and frapple frapple all over the place."

I stopped walking and said, "Look, should we just throw this in the can, now? You're behaving like a little kid."

"Little kids. Good. No frapple there. We can keep going. I'll try my best."

He behaved himself through the rest of our walk and through lunch, although he was ultimately just too weird for me. After the meal, I told him that I had a commitment to honor that evening and had to leave. We partied amiably and I didn't plan to have any further dates with him.

That line of thinking was solidified when he sent me an email that I received the following morning, upon waking up. It asked me if I had a good night and if I had accomplished all the "frapple" that I wanted to. If I hadn't, he offered to pick up with the "frappling." I assume that my lack of response was answer enough.