Story Sent in by Evie:
John and I had been friends for nearly a year when we started dating, so by that point I figured I had him safely pegged as a nice, funny guy. Everything seemed to be going great, and it had been agreed that we would officially break the news of our coupledom to our friends after Christmas break.
We had arranged a date to see one of my favorite local bands the weekend before I was to go away on a family vacation. The band was breaking up, so that was my last chance to ever see them perform. I was rather annoyed when John showed up with a bunch of friends, including some girl I didn’t know, as that would have been my last chance to be alone with him until after the holidays. Anyway, I brushed off my irritation, introduced myself to the group, and we headed off to the concert.
All the way there, the aforementioned girl, Sasha, was teased by the others about her "big secret" and how they "couldn’t believe she hadn’t told them first." Out of curiosity I asked what they were talking about. She then happily announced that she and John were "finally, officially boyfriend/girlfriend" as of that night.
All the affection I had for John died painfully in that second. I looked over to where he was hanging back with a pained expression and he just looked between his new girlfriend and me with eyes wide and mouthed, "Whoops."
I was horrified. I would have left right that instant except, as mentioned, this was the band's last show. I spent the entire concert pressed up to the hot new couple in the crowd, suffering through their constant making out and all of their friends' comments about how cute they were together.
As soon as the band finished their encore I made a flimsy excuse and left. Sasha actually looked genuinely disappointed and gave me a massive unwanted hug. She said, “I had no idea John had such awesome friends. It was great to meet you!” I hightailed it out of there without giving my sort-of-ex and his harem a second look.
A couple of days later I received a message from John consisting of: "Ola!"
I replied with: "I’m not a magical backpack. F*ck off, Dora." I think he got the message, as he hasn’t tried to contact me since.
I'm sorry OP. It seemed like he was playing both of you. Sort of sad though, because other than being WAY too into being a couple and the public affection stuff, his new girlfriend seemed okay and geniunely not aware of his asshole ways. You did the right thing by cutting ties for good, no doubt.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if he messaged with the thought of possibly continuing on with that threeway thing a little longer....
I think you should have dropped a little knowledge on Sasha. I'm sure she would have been interested to know that her new "boyfriend" was seeing someone else simultaneously. I'm sure she wouldn't have believed you and it would have come off as sour grapes, but I think it would have been worth it to put the doubt in her mind. John sounds like a giant douche.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely, Architect. I'm in general a big believer of "no flag, no country" in terms of 'unofficial' dating (off topic, it's hilarious to use 'unofficial' to mean secretly having sex - if you're FWB say so to people, it spares you the scenario above and you still have your commitment-free orgasms). But being told you're the one and having it revoked, you deserve an explanation, and since he made his reveal in a public way he deserved to have the full reveal be public, too. OP should have told Sasha post-hug; I have a feeling she would have been believed then.
DeleteI can understand your confusion as John is a moron and does not know how to spell "hello" in Spanish. What he meant to text was "Hola". Dora the Explorer is a children's cartoon that teaches some basic Spanish and she has a magical backpack.
ReplyDeleteUgh, so sorry you had to go through that, OP. I'm also sorry that you had to find out the hard way about the kind of manchild who pulls crap like this because he doesn't have the maturity to ends things himself. The clueless new GF acting like your new bestie can't have been fun either.
ReplyDeleteI'm telling you guys, the stories I read here make me less concerned about the possibility of dying alone.
^ But if you're a ghost, you're already dead, so why are you concerned about that possibility? :D
DeleteI know what you mean, though. Some days, after I read the stories here, I cling to my fiance and say "oh gods please don't ever leave me!"
Back on topic, having been in the OP's position before, I know it sucks really hard at the time but she's really the lucky one here. She found out he was a two-timing jerk without even having to date him.
I don't know what's worse, people who meet someone else and pull this crap or people who meet someone else and don't have the guts to break it off with their current SO so they make them miserable until they bail and get them off the hook.
DeleteMy interpretation of this - OP wanted to be girlfriend of this guy. Guy just wanted to date around. OP arranged a date with guy to go to concert. Guy got someone else he's interested in and they made out in front of OP. OP got pissed and added a load of fluff to the story before throwing up a Dora remark. Way to go, OP! I am guessing Doremon is next?
ReplyDeleteMaybe he did want to date around, but if so he shouldn't have been part of "it had been agreed that we would officially break the news of our coupledom to our friends after Christmas break"
DeleteI mean, maybe the OP is lying about that, but the storytellers on here could be lying about everything for all we know. Have to take them at face value unless they're obviously screwy.
Whenever I read something like this, it makes me wish so hard that women would throw off their conditioning of "don't make a scene" to just confront and deal with the guy right then.
ReplyDeleteSasha annouces they're officially a couple? OP turns to look directly at John and says for all to hear: "Oh really? What am I then, your concubine?"
Let JOHN explain to the group and his new girlfriend why he's been leading on some other girl. His shitty behavior is his responsibility. A little public shame would do him some good. It might serve as a reminder not to do it again. It would also let Sasha know (whether she chooses to believe it or not) what kind of guy she's getting involved with.
Agh. You owe the guy nothing, so what's with this sucking it up and keeping quiet routine? People can only use you as a doormat with your consent.
This is exactly what SHOULD be done in this situation.
Delete"What am I then, your concubine?"
Delete"Sounds great. You're hired. Let's get on with the threesome, shall we!"
Exactly. Homeboy's Spanish sucks. OP dodged a boring, unilingual bullet.
ReplyDelete^ Yes.
ReplyDeleteUh-huh
ReplyDeleteYep
ReplyDeleteOh I see-thank you muchly guys. x
ReplyDeleteExcept we don't know that they were keeping it a secret. We know that they were friends for a year BEFORE they started dating. For all we know they went on only a date or two before deciding to tell people they were a couple.
ReplyDeleteYou're projecting here, SaggyGrandmama. I'm sorry if someone told you that you gave it up too easy but that's no reason to accuse the OP of being an idiot.
It's true we can only base our assumptions on what was written. And as it was stated, John and Sasha (the other girl) were being teased about how they kept it a "big secret" and had not told their friends right away.
ReplyDeleteSo it's obvious John didn't want either girl to know about the other one; ergo the secrecy with both of them.
And all I was pointing out was that relationships are all about commitment and being happy/proud to be with your partner. These people are grown adults, not little children. They won't catch cooties and be made fun of because they like the opposite sex. Secrets in a committed adult relationship are not needed.
I shall accept your apology in the form of an epic poem, or by gargling my balls.