Bacon 'n Reneges

Story Sent in by Sophia:

A dating site brought Eric and I together. He wrote me stunningly nice messages and I loved hearing from him. He asked me out to a first date at a really nice cafe, where I had been to once before and loved it.

He gave me a nice greeting and we sat down together, but something seemed to be preoccupying and distressing him. Namely, he kept pulling out and glancing at a little notepad.

I asked him, "Is everything all right?"

He said, "Yeah. Just checking my calculations. I fixed up my house to turn all the lights on with one switch, but instead, when I flip the switch, just the garage door opens. I can't figure out what I did wrong, so I just made some diagrams. Sorry." He put the notepad away.

I asked him, "Can I help?"

He laughed, long and hard. "That is so cute!"

I had, actually, done a little of my own electricity work, once upon a time. I ignored his idiocy and extended my hand. "Let me see what you have, there."

He laughed again and said, "Nah. It's okay. I'll figure it out."

When the waitress came to take our orders, he asked her, "Do you have a bacon and avocado sandwich?"

She said, "I'm sorry, we don't."

He again asked, "Do you have a bacon and avocado sandwich?"

She gave him a funny look, then said, "No, sir."

He asked, "Can you somehow make a bacon and avocado sandwich?"

She replied, "I'll, uh, check in back."

"Do that. We'll wait."

She went in back. Eric said to me, "I want a bacon and avocado sandwich."

She returned a few moments later. "We can make one for you."

"That's what I thought," he said. I ordered my own food, and the waitress left.

He then grilled me about myself, but what was odd was that these were all questions he had asked me before, online. Where did I grow up, what did I do, what were my hobbies, etc. He knew all the answers, so I don't know why he was asking me again.

After several of these questions, he said, "Okay, you're boring. Bye." He then stood up and left me there.

When the waitress arrived with our plates, I explained to her that he had to run and probably wouldn't be back. She was gracious enough to return his precious sandwich to the kitchen and not charge me for it. That was our only date.