This Muffin Tastes Angry

Story Sent in by David:

Wendy and I had been out together once and had a good first date. She worked as a barista at a coffee shop, and after comparing our availability, we scheduled a second date for a Friday night. She told me she'd be off of work by six, leaving the rest of the night open for us to do whatever. I was to pick her up at her house at 7:30.

A little after six, she called to say that she was being held late at the coffee shop, and asked if I'd meet her there, instead. I drove there and she told me that a coworker had called out and that she (Wendy) would have to stay until seven. She said that she didn't want to hold us up and that we could go out on our date from there.

I told her that I'd be okay meeting up a bit later if she wanted to go home to change first, but she said that she'd be fine heading right out for our date once she was let out at work. She apologized, I told her it was no big deal, and she said that if I wanted to, I could wait there for her to be let out of work. I sat down and waited.

Seven came and went, and she was still behind the counter, taking orders. Around 7:15, I asked her when she anticipated being off of work.

She said, "By 7:30. Promise."

Seven-thirty came and went. She was still there, behind the counter, without a word of explanation to me. At around 7:50, I went up to her again and told her, "If you're going to be held late tonight, we can postpone."

She said, "No! This is our date, and we're going on a date! It's a date night! We're going to go on a date! We'll date, okay? Tonight, we'll have a date. Just be patient! Please? Go sit down."

She sounded pretty upset, so I let it be. She made me feel bad for even saying anything. She seemed stressed and appeared to really feel bad about the situation. It honestly wasn't her fault, and I didn't want her to feel bad, herself. I decided to wait there and not say anything else about it. After all, I had nothing else planned for the night.

Less than 10 minutes later, she brought out a muffin to me and said, "Here! It's for our date! You wanted a date, we're having a date! See? I'm paying for this muffin for you, just so we can have a date! Okay? A date? Are you happy?"

She stormed off, back around the counter. I wanted to follow her to try and calm her down, but I realized that doing so might set her off even more, so I silently thanked her for the muffin and took a few bites.

Moments later, she reappeared, holding a small, lit candle. She stuck it into the muffin and said, "Happy date! Okay? You happy? We're having our date, together! It's a date! Good for us! Good for date!"

She returned behind the counter. I blew out the candle and took it out of the muffin. I waited until she wasn't looking my way, and after a minute, I stood and left.

As I hurried to my car, she exited the shop and followed me, shouting, "Hey! Where are you going? I thought we were on a date!"

I didn't look back, but I made it to my car and drove off, right past her. I had had enough.

A minute later, a text arrived from her: "I just got off work, but I guess you don't care. Have a nice life."

I have, thanks.