They're Cubes!

Story Sent in by Grant:

Shelly and I went out to dinner. I paid. She talked about herself non-stop and didn't thank me. I figured that that one date would be our only date.

When we left the restaurant, it was cold and dark out. She said, "It's cold and dark out," as we walked together down the sidewalk.

I said, "It is."

The the next thing I knew, her arms were wrapped around me and she said, "We're going to be together forever!"

I replied, "That's nice. Let go of me, please."

She dropped her hands and looked at me like I had just dealt her a mortal insult. She said, "You're not the only guy I'm dating."

"Okay." Why shouldn't she play the field? I was.

She went on, "He's a drummer and he plants trees and he has a mustache!"

"That's really, really great."

"It's the cutest little mustache you've ever seen! He and I, we, we're going to be together forever!"

"That's really, really great."

"Him and me! Not me and you!"

"Stupendous. Look, I'm going to go. Have a good night."

I hurried ahead of her. She called after me, "I'm calling him right now! He has balls! Where are yours?"

I didn't reply, but I did walk away faster. The last words I heard her say were, "They're acceptable to me! They're acceptable!"

I'd shudder to think what unacceptable ones would've been like. I drove home, I think, better off.