Because Roaches Are Like Diamond Rings

Story Sent in by Doris:

On my first date with Robert, he took me out to a Chinese place that was pretty good. I had eaten there before and never had a problem. At dinner, we talked and had good conversation, and a little after we ordered, he went to the bathroom to wash his hands.

When he came back, he told me that I could go wash my hands, if I wanted to. I thought it was a good idea, and when I came back, our food was at the table.

As I ate through my chicken, I had the fright of my life. A brown roach was in my food!

I cried out and froze, but Robert laughed at me and said, "Calm down. It's fake. We'll get a free meal. Just keep acting."

Robert called our waiter over and pointed at the plate with the rubber roach on it. I called Robert out and said to the waiter, "It's fake. He's just playing a trick on me."

I wondered if the waiter would throw Robert out of the restaurant for that, but he understood my meaning well enough and walked off. Robert took his fake roach back and was mad for the rest of dinner ("You're paying for your meal!") but I didn't care.

When the check came, he grabbed it and threw down cash for his half of the meal as quickly as he could. The last thing he said to me was, "Good thing I didn't put a diamond ring in your food. You'd probably complain about that, too." He took off as quick as he could.

When I made it out to the parking lot, I found the fake roach jammed into the handle of my driver's side door. What a loon.