Story Sent in by Peggy:
James wrote me over a dating site and we ended up out on a first date after not too long. I wore a nice black, cotton blouse that showed next-to-nothing of my chest. At dinner, I caught him taking a few furtive glances at my breasts, but I didn't call him on it. It's what guys do, after all.
He was very polite and funny at dinner, and I liked just about everything about him, so far. He asked if I wanted to take a walk on that nice autumn night, and I felt comfortable enough to do it.
As we walked, he said, "So... you should probably know: I'm a breast man. How about you?"
"How about me what? I'm not a breast man."
He replied, "Yes, but what part of a guy do you like the most?"
"His personality?"
"A physical part."
"I don't know. His arms?"
He then rolled up his coat's sleeves and bore his arms at me. He asked, "Do you like them?" Before I could respond, he rolled his sleeves back down and said, "Your turn."
"My turn what? You want to see my arms?"
He laughed. "No! Your breasts. I just showed you my arms, and they're the part you like the most. I think it's only fair."
I thought he was nuts. Aside from the fact that it was only our first date, it was almost dark and there were still people around the area.
I told him, "I'm not going to show you my breasts."
"We can go somewhere private, and you don't have to show them to me for long. Just a second. Come on."
"No."
"What the hell is with you women?" he groaned, then tugged his sleeves down a bit more, as if I was planning to sneak a peek at his arms, then stomped away.
Before he made it to far, he spun around and asked, "You seriously won't show my your chest? After everything I did for your tonight?"
He had paid for dinner, kept me laughing through most of it, and showed me his arms. Somehow, though, that still didn't add up to seeing my chest. Should it have? No way.
I again informed him that he wouldn't be seeing any part of me undressed that night, and he said, "Whatever. You're fat anyway," and continued on, away from me.
Aww, you should have flashed him. Probably woulda been the first time he'd ever seen boobs in person, if that's his "game."
ReplyDeletePaying for dinner and making you laugh should at least be worth one titty.
ReplyDeleteAnd on a side note, his closing statement is hilarious!
Is James not aware of internet porn? Tons of boobs to see and you never have to try to make them laugh or buy them dinner. I swear, men always make something easy really difficult.
ReplyDeleteChances are if she was "fat" her boobs would be more voluptuous anyway (stereotypical speaking)... He missed out!!!
ReplyDeleteAh, but you forget the #1 rule for dating: no fat chicks.
DeleteI guess all my dates have been huge rule breakers then. ;) Also, not all "fat chicks" have big boobs. I do. But not all of us have them. Anyway. Carry on...
DeleteSo, OP.. we at ABCD would like to make sure you are actually worth it. Boob shot please. You can even post it discreetly and we'll view it with the lights off.
ReplyDeleteCome on Splitscreen, you know the ABCotD rule....No fat chicks....unless you give them candy first....or unless they're hot fat chicks....or we're drunk....or, well, never mind, just show us your boobs! Maybe you'll get to see our arms if you're lucky...
DeleteI've got voluptuous arms, BTW. Just thought I should throw it out there. I am definitely arm-candy.
DeleteWhat's scarier, that James may have found at least one woman to play his game and reinforce his douchitude, or that he is a consistent assclown in the face of total failure?
ReplyDeleteNever give up, never surrender!
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