Supernaturally Blonde

Story Sent in by Robert:

Towards the end of dinner on our first date, Andrea and I settled on the topic of ghosts. The discussion continued as we walked out of the restaurant and down the street. She asked me if I had ever seen one, and I confessed that I hadn't. Then, she told me that a house she used to live in had been haunted.

"Whyrma," Andrea said, "That was her name. She'd pace the upstairs hall and mutter, 'Whyrma, Whyrma...'"

I was skeptical, and I asked her if she had called any newspapers or TV stations about it, as proof of a ghost would be a big deal.

Andrea said that she hadn't, but that the ghost always gave her dirty looks, as if it was upset with her about something. Andrea theorized, "I think it's because I'm blonde. It didn't have a problem with anyone else, but I was the only blonde living there."

"How long ago was that?" I asked.

She gave me a strange look, then said, "Four years ago... why?"

"I was just curious."

She continued with the strange look and asked, "Why? What were you up to, four years ago?"

I told her the truth. "I was in my first job after college, working in insurance. Really glamorous."

"Uh-huh. Where?"

I replied, "Near Harrisburg, Pennsylvania."

She stopped dead in her tracks. "Oh, my God. I went to Ithaca."

Again with that strange look. But now I was the one feeling a bit odd. I knew that information about her, already, but what did her going to Ithaca have to do with me working in Harrisburg?

Before I could ask, she repeated, "I went to Ithaca... but you knew that, already, didn't you?"

"Be-because you already told me."

She made her fingers into a cross and backed away from me, like I had the plague. She said, "Stay back! You're Whyrma! You followed me here! Oooeeewwww...!"

She wrinkled her face and bared her teeth, like she had eaten something really bitter. Then, without another word, she turned and fled.

I guessed that would be the last I'd hear from her, but just because it had ended so bizarrely, I felt like I wanted to do one last thing, so I wrote her an email that said,

DEAR ANDREA,

WWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

SEE YOU SOON.

WHYRMA


She never wrote back, and it's just as well.