Version on the Ridiculous

Story Sent in by Brianne:

Todd introduced himself to me at a bar, while I was out with my girlfriends. We had a pretty quick connection and I gave him my number after a 20-minute chat.

He asked me to meet him at a popular Chinese place for our first date. When I arrived and looked around for him, a man I had never seen before came up to me and said, "Brianne? Hi! I'm Todd."

He wasn't Todd. For starters, this guy looked about twice Todd's age and also, he clearly hadn't shaved or had a haircut in months. He looked more like a stereotypical lumberjack than the guy who had chatted me up at the bar.

"You're not Todd," I said, "Where is he?"

"I'm the Todd you get!" he guffawed, then launched himself at my face, possibly for a kiss, but it looked more likely like he was going to bite my nose off. I was out of there in a heartbeat.

Todd called me later that night, once I was back home, and I let it go to voicemail. He said, "What was wrong with that version of Todd? I mean I figured that any Todd would do, right? Any Todd? Right? Answer me, you bitch!" and then he hung up. Charming.