Think This Has Ever Worked for a Guy?

Story Sent in by Kimberly:

I was set up on a date with Thomas by a mutual friend who I no longer allow to set me up on dates. Her judgment, up until this guy, was usually spot-on, but Thomas sufficiently ruined it for the rest of them.

Thomas was easy on the eyes. He took me out to a nice restaurant, and after trading vital facts about each other for a few minutes, he asked me, "Ready to see my dick?"

A hesitation on my part, just for a moment, to playback what he had just said, then an automatic, "No. Thanks. I'm good without dick."

He sat back with a smile. "Have you ever seen a dick before? It might look different than you think. You might be surprised."

I replied, "No dick is going to surprise me. Not tonight. Not ever. Let's talk about something else."

He didn't press the issue, and I felt that I at least owed it to my friend to see things through. Thomas was a mutual friend, as I said, and I didn't want to create drama just over something he said. If he tried anything, though, then all bets would be off.

The only other hint that he was in fact planning to try something came not long before dinner was over. He asked me, "You like surprises?"

I replied, "Of the pleasant variety."

He nodded, and that ended our discussion about surprises.

After dinner, we went outside. It was just after sundown, but darkening rapidly. He asked if I wanted to take a walk around the village green, and I didn't think any harm of it.

As we rounded a corner, near a line of houses, he unzipped his pants and stretched out his floppy junk. "Meet the dick," he said.

I screamed and booked it away, yelling, "Have a good night!" over my shoulder.

My friend called me the next morning to ask how it went. She said, "Thomas told me that he had a really good time with you."

I replied, "Did he mention the part where he yanked out his wiener?"

Turns out, Thomas hadn't mentioned that. No hard feelings for my friend, but I felt better finding my own dates after that nonsense.