It Works for the Chimpanzees

Story Sent in by Ann:

Victor promised to meet me at a street corner for our first date. When he didn't show on time, I called him and he said that he was running a little late. He then called me back a moment later and said that he was running very late. I asked him if he wanted to postpone and he asked me if I'd mind waiting. He claimed he'd "more than make it up" to me. He was very apologetic and gracious, and so I found a nearby cafe and sat down there while I waited for him.

About 20 minutes later, he grabbed me from behind and shook me. I screamed. He released me and stepped away, like I had slapped him. He asked, "What the hell? What was that for?"

I stared at him, open-mouthed. I said, "You shook me! What did I do wrong?"

"You screamed for no reason! I don't tolerate baby behavior, and I'm not about to start now."

"So grabbing and shaking and scaring me is okay, but me reacting normally to it is not?"

He screamed into my face, and I leaned away from him. He said, "Oh, what's wrong? I just reacted normally, since a scream is a normal reaction to everything, according to you." He then screamed at me again.

I shoved past him and said, "There's nothing normal about you," and I stormed right out of there. I was afraid that he'd come after me and grab me or scream at me again, but he did none of those things.

Instead, a month or so later, I received an email from him, explaining and rationalizing all about why screams are a sign of aggression, why it's not smart to scream in public places, and curiously, he also included a thick paragraph on industrial cogeneration (followed by another paragraph that began, "Anyway, back to your behavior..."). I counted myself lucky that I had no further interactions with him.