Story Sent in by Mary:
Ronald found me online. First big red flag on my date with him was during our lunch. He asked me, "You get a lot of sick emails from BBW-fetish guys?"
I know very well that I'm overweight. Still, it was a rude thing to ask, and so I decided to make it hard for him. "No. Why would I?"
No response from the loquacious Ronald.
Moving on, we were on a walk after lunch when he asked, "Anyone ever play 'slap-the-flab' with you?"
"Uh... no."
"It's like tag," he said, "I tag you and you have to tag me back."
"Hmm. No."
We walked side-by-side for a little bit, but he soon dropped behind me and I turned to him to find that he was impersonating the way I walked in an insultingly exaggerated manner. He swung his arms around, puffed out his cheeks, shut his eyes, and spread his legs about as wide as they would go.
"Is that supposed to be me?" I asked.
"Uh-huh." He then shouted, "Flab punch!" then slapped my stomach, hard, and took off.
I took off after him. I might be larger than average, but I'm surprisingly fast. He jumped over a low stone wall surrounding a park, and I kept pace with him. In fact, I was faster than he was, and when I caught up, I tackled him to the grass.
He wasn't wearing a big, stupid smile anymore. He was upset and squirming. I swung myself into a position in which I was sort of sitting on his upper back. People going by must have thought we were just two over-affectionate lovers. Eww.
I said, "If you ever slap me or another girl again, you'll be sorry. Understand?" It was a silly thing to say (how would I ever know if he did something like that to another girl?) but it was the first thing that came to mind. If anything, I wanted him out from under me as quickly as possible. The whole thing made me feel at once victorious and gross.
"Get off me! Oh my God, get off!"
"Understand?"
"Yes! Okay, I'm sorry, get off! Holy–"
I rolled off of him. He sprang and bolted off. I hope that a lesson was learned that day.
Hell hath no fury like a tubby girl scorned!
ReplyDeleteThe visuals I have in my head from reading this story are hilarious... :-)
Good for you! That was awesome.
ReplyDeleteI'm a little confused about why the OP stayed around on the date when Ronald was clearly just trolling, but the end result was awesome. I just wish she had slapped him around a bit.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I like that the OP acknowledges her weight (in the story) but doesn't make a big deal out of it. One of my issues with most fat people is that they turn their weight into this huge issue where they're either proselytizing ("I'm not fat - this is a HEALTHY weight! Society sets unreasonable standards!") or very sensitive (so you have to tiptoe around the subject or they'll cry). This OP has a very healthy attitude that I respect.
You should retitle it "Chubby Chaser".
ReplyDeleteIf you're fat enough that guys are only attracted to you as a fetish object, then you're probably past the point of trying to play coy about it with any degree of believability.
ReplyDeleteStill, Ronald was a jerk for setting up the date just to mess with you. He probably did it as a dare and now has a 'hilarious' story he can tell all his friends.
I'm guessing this guy is a fetishist but can't actually acknowledge it yet. He's meeting up with big girls but then gets too nervous and ends up pulling stunts like this one.
ReplyDeleteIm also thinking why would you continue the date?? the op acknowledged the red flags so she knew something was up, silly op and her obvious low self esteem :(
ReplyDeleteTeach him to flab punch someone out of his weight class.
ReplyDeleteIt's not her self-esteem that's the issue, it's the notion that society at large has a problem with big girls having anything other than a shitty self-image. Doesn't fit the mold.
ReplyDeleteThis story makes me a little sad. I'm a BBW, but I don't know what I'd do if this happened to me. :( But it's awesome that you clobbered him. And geez if he's going to insult you, at least be funny for crying out loud. Lame he was.
ReplyDelete