That Not-So-Fresh Feeling

Story Sent in by Jess:

Before our date, Nick promised me "four hours of non-stop fun." The first thing on his list, in person, was to break out a bottle of mouthwash, down some, swish it around, spit it out on the sidewalk, and offer me some.

"No thanks," I said.

"It's got no roofies in it," he said, "Watch." He brought the bottle again to his lips, but this time. He actually swallowed some.

"Ahhh!" he said, then held the bottle out to me.

"No thanks."

He said, "Let me bring the bottle back to my car, then."

I followed him for a few blocks, up and down streets. After a little while, I asked him, "Why are you taking us in circles? Where's your car?"

He said, "It must have been abducted! We must go on a quest to find it!"

I said, "Maybe we could have dinner? Aren't you hungry?"

He said, "I just drank a tub of mouthwash, honey. I don't think anything's staying down. Help me find my car, instead."

"Do you seriously not know where your car is?"

He replied, "Maybe. You don't know what my car looks like, so I might be lying and you wouldn't know it!" He shook his mouthwash bottle around and took another drink. "I have the sweetest-smelling breath in the nation!"

I said, "Let's just do dinner. Come on." I turned and walked back toward the main road.

He grabbed my dress and pulled it hard, toward him. I swung at his face and missed, but he let go, all the same. He stared at me, though, as if I had, in fact, hit him.

He said, "Well, I can see that you don't want an evening of fun. Bye." He opened up the closest parked car to us and drove away.