Sucker

Story Sent in by Milly:

My first date with Edgar was short. We sat down together, he reached into the bright blue shoulder bag that he carried with him, and pulled out a tube-shaped vacuum cleaner attachment.

"Know what this is?" he asked.

"Part of a vacuum cleaner?"

He nodded, then inserted the tube into his mouth and said something that I couldn't understand.

I asked, "What?"

He pulled it out and said, "I said, 'It can be something else, like something for sucking. Or it can also be something you can do around my house that's never been done in my house before.'"

I asked, "Sex?"

He replied, "Vacuuming. If you're not going to screw me, you might as well make yourself useful."

Ten seconds later, he was on a date all alone.

First and last time online dating.