Not-So-Nice Cream

Story Sent in by Lori:

Ian wrote me online. One thing that intrigued me about his profile was that he claimed to make his own homemade ice cream. I asked him about it in our introductory messages, and he sounded very proud of it. At one point, I mentioned that I'd be interested in trying some, sometime. He replied that he'd be happy to make some for me, and then he asked me out on a date.

I met him in the parking lot of a restaurant, and after our hellos, he showed me over to his car, popped his trunk and opened a cooler within. There were, wrapped in aluminum foil, a few small bricks of his homemade ice cream.

"Wow," I said, "Thanks for making it."

He said, "My pleasure. Go ahead and take as much as you want. I have a whole vat left at home."

I replied, "Thanks, I will. After dinner."

He gave me a look and said, "Okay, if you don't want it, just say so." He slammed his trunk closed, making me jump, and then he stomped toward the restaurant. When he noticed that I wasn't following, he turned around and said, "What?"

I asked, "What was that about?"

He said, "If you don't want it, say so. I mean, I went through the trouble of making it, but it's easy for you to just blow me off. Okay, whatever."

"Ian, what are you talking about? I'm not about to put it in my bag or car right now. It'll melt. If I grab it after dinner, that'll give me enough time to make it home before it melts."

He said, "You knew I was bringing ice cream, and you didn't plan ahead to bring a cooler? I'm supposed to believe that you were really that stupid?"

"Maybe you should believe that I thought you'd be okay with me taking it after dinner, instead of behaving like a crazy person."

He stared at me, then looked up at the dark sky, then said, "You know what? I'm going to go home and eat it. Right now. Save me some money and from having to go out on a date with some idiot."

He shouldered past me and made for his car. I said, "You are absolutely senseless."

He spun and yelled, "Shut it, swine!" then jumped into his car, slammed the door, and pulled away.

I didn't feel physically threatened by him, but I was still shaken. It took a while for me to look at ice cream after that and not think of him each and every time.