Story Sent in by Roberto:
Renee and I were at a club on our second date. She had left for the bathroom for about 20 minutes, and I wondered what had become of her. We had both drank a bit, but I didn't expect to find her where I did, pinned up against a wall, moaning loudly while two different guys took turns dry-humping her.
I tapped her shoulder and she opened her eyes. I asked, "Having fun?"
She asked, "Who the hell are you?"
The guy who was rubbing himself against her at that moment, a tall string bean in a black shirt, black overalls, and black baseball cap, leaned into me and said, "Get lost."
I asked Renee, just to be sure, "You okay?"
She said to me, "I have no idea who you are. Who are you?"
That was my cue to return to the crowd and do my best to have a good evening by myself. The bands were good and I had almost forgotten all about Renee until an hour and a half later, when she grabbed my shoulder from behind and shook from head to toe.
"Everything all right?" I asked her.
"I feel sick," she said, "Can you drive me home?"
I replied, "Who the hell are you?"
She said, "Renee. We came here together… I think. Didn't we?"
She looked an awful shade of green. Despite what a bitch she had been, I was moved to pity. Say what you will, but my pride wasn't worth abandoning someone who was ill. I swallowed my ego, put an arm around her, and drove her home.
After making sure that she made it into her house without incident, I went right back to the club for another 40 minutes and had a great time. Best of all, I never heard from Renee again.
Team OP. Yes she was a bitch but he did the right thing. And he also enjoyed his time there even without her. Sounds like a cool guy. No hussle no fuss. Whats the point?
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that this OP knows his audience. Hopefully with his head-'em-off-at-the-pass statements we won't get the standard "OP you have no self respect and you're not really a man because you did the nice thing" comments.
ReplyDeleteI wanna say she sounds like she was messed up on more than alcohol, but I've been a reading a book with a lot of drugs in it so it might be coloring my judgment. good on you for being the bigger person and taking her home, regardless.
Yeah, I was thinking she was high. Like, up on the *roof*, high. Maybe she was a bitch, and maybe she got herself a dose of something nasty. Who knows. Moral of the story: ladies, watch your drinks.
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DeleteOP, the time to take her home was the FIRST time you found her. If those last three sentences had come a few paragraphs earlier, I would have some respect for you as a decent human being. As was, you left a clearly inebriated/drugged out person, who was thus incapable of consenting, outnumbered by two guys who were clearly not in the least bothered by that fact. Your "pride" allowed you to leave someone in a situation that should have been screamingly obviously dangerous, because you were angry that what seems obvious sexual assault to me seemed to you to be your date turning you down for somebody else. If she did, as I suspect, get raped in the hour and a half she was missing the second time, you could have stopped it, and you decided to turn around and walk away instead.
ReplyDeleteIf we were friends and you told me this story, I would very probably cut off the friendship, because you would not be someone I trusted any more.
I couldn't agree more Ashley.
DeleteThis wasn't my first interpretation, but after a reread, her asking OP for help and still seeming confused about whether or not she had actually arrived with him is making me think that you're probably right :/
DeleteThis person was at the very least wildly drugged to the point of not being able to recognize the OP's FACE, or remember where she was.
DeleteYay OP. Good job leaving a girl to the Roofie Squad and then calling her a bitch.
I don't understand Ashley's comment at all. There is nothing in this story that says she wasn't consenting, or that she was too drunk to do so when he found her the first time. You really suspect she was raped? Based on what exactly? I just guess she wasn't that into OP, found someone more interesting and when she got tired and perhaps noticed she had drunk too much, she thought OP would be nice enough to take her home regardless. Which he was. If an adult person says to you: "Who the hell are you?" when you obviously know her, and she doesn't seem drugged or completely shitfaced, you leave them alone to mind their own business and grind against whoever they like. That doesn't even have anything to do with pride. This other guy she was hooking up with would probably have started a fight with OP had he tried to take her away, and I doubt she would have been happy to go with him either. Do you really believe everyone who has drunk alcohol immediately becomes "incapable of consenting"? Again, he wrote "we both had drunk a bit".
ReplyDeleteI agree with that. @Agnes: Lets pretend he wanted to take her home that first time. She didnt recognise him so if he insisted she most probably would start screaming she didnt want to go. Now when you see a guy trying to make a woman go with him and her refusing, what is the first thing you think? And anyway the OP was on a date. He didnt have to babysit another adult who was old enough to know better
DeleteSorry, Aggiebell, but I'm kinda leaning towards the "No way he could have known for sure what her deal was" side of the crowd. Plus, what would he have done when he found her the first time? Gotten his ass kicked by some strange guy who was in the middle of humping some girl who says (and probably would have sworn up and down at the time) that she doesn't know this new guy trying to take her home?
DeleteHe did the best he could in the situation, and frankly, I'm disappointed that we're beating up on a guy that actually DID something decent instead of saying, "Thanks for taking her home."
I agree with Cotswold. Sure, it's POSSIBLE that Renee may have been drugged, but it's hard to envision a scenario where OP could have got involved without starting a fight in which HE would look like the bad guy. In a best case scenario, Renee is an idiot who accepts unsealed drinks from complete strangers. In a worst case scenario, she's a trashy slut. Neither of those scenarios is worth getting into a fight and possibly establishing a lifelong police record for. Anybody who says that's gutless is an idiot who has probably never been in a real fight before, where people get crippled or have permanent damage.
DeleteI'm glad that the OP gave Renee the benefit of the doubt and gave her a ride back home - it was the right thing to do. As far as Renee's behavior, it would be great if we had more specialized information about the effects of roofies. Do they just cause memory loss, or are there other clear effects that the OP would have seen? This would help us get a better idea of whether Renee was a trashy ho or just an silly girl in need of help.
I say it's GHB. OP said she was gone 20 minutes so it could only be roofies if he had given them to her. GHB mixed with alcohol is fast acting and disorienting.
DeleteTotally agree. And if you are on a date, you dont accept drinks from strangers. Period.
ReplyDeleteThis site never ceases to amaze - you can find a rationalization or an excuse for everything. In this case, I'm all team OP - sorry but the "she could've been raped" part strikes me as very farfetched; most women I know that are getting dry-humped and not screaming bloody murder are consenting. I have also met a few women who are fully capable of acting this exact same way, so that doesn't surprise me at all.
ReplyDeleteThis is pretty much why I don't go to clubs. It's not really my scene, and I always be some sickening behaviour.
ReplyDelete"ARE YOU OK, ARE YOU OK" SHES PISSED AND CANT REMEMBER YOU EVEN THOUGH SHE CAME THERE ON A DATE WITH YOU. YEAH SHE'S FINE JERKOFF!!!!!!!!!!! TAKE CONTROL LITTLE MAN AND GET SECURITY TO CHECK ON HER SHES OFF HER FACE AND HAS NO IDEA WHATS REALLY GOIN ON.WHEN PEOPLE LOSE THE ABILITY TO LOOK AFTER THEMSELVES SOMEONE HAS TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY EVEN IF ITS A STRANGER. HE LEFT HER WITH THOSE CREEPS BECAUSE SHE BLEW HIM OFF HE THOUGHT, IF HE THOUGHT SHE WAS OUT OF IT AND GENUINELY DISORIENTATED AND STILL DIDNT GET SECURITY TO CHECK ON HER THEN HE GOT REVENGE BY LEAVING HER TO THOSE SCUM WHO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MESSED UP PEOPLE, THEN WROTE OFF HIS GUILT BY DOING A GOOD DEED BUT TOO LATE. I CANT BLAME HIM THOUGH NOBODYS PERFECT AND HE PROBOBLY FELT SHAMED THAT HIS DATE GOT TAPPED BUT GUYS NEED TO BE BIGGER AND TAKE CONTROL( GET SECURITY TO CHECK)
ReplyDeleteOuch! My eyes!
DeleteI HOPE YOU REALIZE THAT YOU DON'T SOUND SMARTER OR MAKE YOUR POINT ANY MORE VALID BY SCREAMING ON THE INTERNET. YOU JUST SOUND LIKE A DOUCHE WHO DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE LIGHT NEXT TO "CAPS LOCK" MEANS ALSO LEARN TO USE PROPER PUNCTUATION.
DeleteI've always been under the impression that date-rape drugs left the victim incapacitated, i.e., not able to stand, walk, communicate, etc. I wouldn't have suspected drugs either but I probably would have asked security to take her to a quiet area backstage just in case.
ReplyDeleteStow the "All Caps Rage", buddy. You're not that important and it really makes it even more difficult to read.
ReplyDeleteIf your argument was cogent, we'd understand how you felt without the need to try and imply yelling on top of it.
tl;dr = Too Loud; Didn't Read
ReplyDeleteIF SOMEONES DETERMINED TO HURT THEMSELVES YOU GIVE UP AND ABANDON THEM AND WASH YOUR HANDS OF RESPONSIBILITY OR YOU GET HELP AND DO WHAT YOU CAN OTHERWISE YOU CAN REGRET NOT DOING ENOUGH LATER.
ReplyDeleteAlright, now you're really pissing me off buddy! Take a minute to think REALLY hard about what you're saying. You essentially said "IF (x) THEN do (a) and (b) and (c) OR do (j) and (k) OTHERWISE (y)" but you didn't use nested parentheses to show WHETHER THE DAMN "OTHERWISE" CONDITION TRIGGERS OFF OF A B & C OR WHETHER IT TRIGGERS OFF THE J & K AND THAT GIVES ME CAPS LOCK RAGE!!!!!!!
Ever been drugged at a bar? I have. I was in a mental fog until I started vomiting. Luckily I didn't black out, but I was extremely ill. I'm on the girls side on this one.
ReplyDeletedang. that really sucks. I'm sorry you went through that.
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