Quit Yer Kitchen

Story Sent in by Marianne:

For our first date, Jerry picked me up at my house on a cold winter's evening. The heat in his car was nothing short of legendary. He had it cranked up high, blowing on my face right when I entered.

"Whew, it's steamy in here," I said, "Would you mind if I turned it down?"

"What's that?" he asked, "Turn it up? Okay!"

He blasted it to the max. I pointed the vents away from me. As he drove, he reached over and positioned them back towards me. He said, "That's too hot on my face. Leave them be."

"They're too hot on me," I said, "Would you mind if I turned it down?"

"I like it warm. Just not on me."

My face felt on fire. I hit the button to turn down the heat. Right away, he hit it back up to the max.

I said, "It's too hot! Please turn it down."

He laughed long deep laughter, like an evil mastermind. "Heat! Heat forever! Mwa-ha-ha-ha!"

By the time we arrived at the restaurant (it seemed as though he had taken the longest way there), I was ready to end the date, and was pretty quiet the whole time.

He picked up on it and asked, "So, what crawled up your butt?"

I said, "I just feel a little disrespected, about what happened in the car before. I'll get over it."

"If you can't take the heat, stay out of my car!" and he laughed again.

I stayed quiet. He went on, "If the heat in my car bothered you, then how will you handle the heat during lovemaking?"

Appetite: gone. The rest of the date was awkward, nearly silent, and when I excused myself to go to the. bathroom, I called a friend to take me home. I didn't tell Jerry.

At the end of dinner, he paid the bill, I thanked him, and he said, "So I guess you want me to drive you home?"

I said, "No thanks. I have a friend picking me up."

He stared at me. "A guy?"

"What if it is?"

He said, "That's a bitchy thing to do."

I shrugged. "If you don't like the heat..."

"Ugh. You really suck," he said, and left me there. Thankfully, my friend arrived soon after, and I have had a Jerry-free life since then.