11/02/2011

When You Wish Upon a Loser

Profile Sent in by Felicia:

About me:

I've got the itch. Not going to lie. I want sexual satisfaction! Who will be the privileged girl? Possibly you, who are reading this.

Before you go ahead and think that I'm a sort of shiftless creepster, I pull in well over six figures a year. If that's not enough for you, then I also own a loft in the city as well as a bungalow outside it. Let's cut the games and both get what we know we both want: I want a good lay, you want a guy who's secure and independent. That's why you're on this site, right???

Seriously, leave love and sensitivity out of it. Indulge me for a night, and I will make any one of your wishes come true. You name it. To the stars, baby!

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7 comments:

  1. Chilledogg11/02/2011 7:50 PM

    I'm not a shiftless creepster. Rather, I am rich. So do me. Now.

    Any questions?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Polka Dot11/02/2011 11:06 PM

    I don't think dating sites are where you find escorts.

    ReplyDelete
  3. wolfdreams0111/03/2011 12:11 AM

    Only six figures? That's funny because Charlie Sheen has exactly the same description, and he makes eight figures. So even the most shameless gold-digger would still write him off as a loser.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous11/03/2011 3:21 AM

    I think he forgot to mention his six figure salary includes the numbers AFTER the decimal point...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Howie Feltersnatch11/03/2011 11:02 AM

    ^ I see what you did there alli_dolli!
    Nice

    ReplyDelete
  6. churro11/03/2011 3:10 PM

    Because everyone knows that inside every single female out there is a gold digging slut waiting to be set free...

    ReplyDelete
  7. DaveG11/04/2011 8:47 PM

    So Dmitri's on a dating site:

    http://www.holytaco.com/the-douchiest-phone-message-in-history/

    ReplyDelete

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