She-Hulk Tries Dating

Story Sent in by Troy:

Dawn wore a bright tie-dye shirt to our date, and had two of the hairiest arms I've ever seen on anyone, man or woman. She caught me staring at them during dinner.

"I'm proud of them," she said. "I think they make me stronger. Honest to god. I have more testosterone or boy juice or whatever."

"Boy juice?"

"You know what I mean."

"Quite so."

There was a decided shift in her tone after that point. I'm not sure what it was, but she became less pleasant and more of a braggart.

"I'm like the mom among my friends. I give great advice, and I'm probably the most mature out of all of them. I also bench press," she said.

After a full dinner of hearing about how amazing Dawn was, we walked outside in the warm summer evening. She pointed to one of those small smart cars and asked me, "How'd you like to see me lift that?"

"I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself," I said.

Ignoring me, she went over to the car's rear bumper and attempted to lift it. She couldn't, but tried a few more times. She repeated "Oh God" several times as I watched. She turned around and tried to lift it with her back to it. Still no luck.

"Damn," she said giving up, "I thought I'd be able to lift at least two of these."

"Sorry."

She pointed to it. "Now you try."

I laughed. "No thanks. I'm sure it's probably too heavy."

She said, "Are you mocking me? Try lifting it."

"No."

"Okay, or you can just be an asshole," she said. "Last chance to lift it."

"No. What would be the point of that?"

"Me," she said as explanation, "But I guess you're just not into me enough."

"To lift a car?"

She shrugged. "I'm going to hit the gym. Laters."

She left me there, on the spot, without a goodbye or anything else.