Profile Sent in by Julia:
My hobbies and interests:
I hate these profile essays. Everyone lists the same garbage for hobbies and interests. I will ask a new question and answer it myself: what is your favorite color.
Well glad you asked! My favorite color is red. Balls are red. Shirts are red. Floors are red. I am full of blood and blood is red. Next question, where do you want to go.
Well glad you asked! I want to go away from everyone who wants to be up in my business. Why do my parents and boss and girlfriend all want to know where I am and what I am doing. Not even I want to know all of that! People want to know too much about me. I will go someplace to make sure they do not know. If they follow then they will not be able to follow. Next question, who is your influences.
Well glad you asked! I like Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith and Men in black as my role models. They have amazing weapons to use against everything mean in the galaxy. It's one thing to have pissed aliens coming for you but soemthing else to have them be afraid of you. When the aliens attack (I know the date- from a VERY reliable source) I will want to be prepared.
Did anyone else get jolted at "Balls are red" ? It made me stop for a minute and say "Wait, what?" and if so, you're doing something wrong.
ReplyDeleteNext section - I love the "Why do my parents and boss and girlfriend all want to know where I am and what I am doing."
Uh, dude... girlfriend? Really? Wow. Also, going somewhere where no one can follow even if they follow sounds like a suicide pact.
On top of that, role models are characters in films. Oh good. And he knows when the aliens are going to invade. Sweet.
This post is one for the archives. Hilarious.