Story Sent in by Clark:
Jodi and I spoke online for about a week or so before we decided to meet up. When we did, it was at a restaurant on a cold winter's night. We sat down, I helped her remove her coat, and couldn't help but notice that she wore a bright orange sticker on her sweater that read, "Fragile: Handle With Care."
We sat down and I asked her about it. She said, "Just to let you know."
"Just to let me know what?"
"That you should handle me with care."
"Oh. Don't you think that applies to everyone?"
She laughed and said, "It applies to me more than most, I promise you."
A waiter came by and gave us waters. He pointed to her sticker and asked, "Is there a charity event today?"
Jodi pointed to me and replied, "No. I'm just letting him know."
The waiter took a moment, then said, "All right. Can I get you guys anything to drink?"
We ordered drinks and I decided to ignore the sticker. I asked, "What were you up to, today?"
Jodi, however, had no intention of letting me divert the conversation. She said, "Don't you want to know what makes me fragile?"
I had a guess that it was her mental capacity, but I remained polite and said, "Sure. What makes you fragile?"
She said, "I was involved in a gang bang. It was my own free will. I was a teenager and stupid and high, but it really messed me up for years afterward."
"Oh. That's rough."
"So that's why you have to handle me with care. Okay?"
"I will."
"And no sex. Not for a while."
I shrugged, deciding that we wouldn't advance to a second date, much less sex. "Okay."
Then, she said, "See, now you'll hold it against me."
"Hold what against you?"
"My honesty. I did nothing wrong, okay? It was a stupid decision but I can't do anything about it and now you'll probably never want to have sex, ever."
"I think we should just play things by ear."
She ripped off her sticker and handed it to me. "If you're going to be that sensitive, then maybe you should be wearing this. Maybe I was wrong."
"Uh…"
"Put it on. Here." She shook it at me.
"I'm good. But I appreciate the thought."
She stood up. "Put it on or I leave. Your choice."
"Bye, then."
She grabbed her coat, leaned over to me quickly, stuck the sticker onto my shoulder, and hurried off, out of the restaurant. I crumpled up the sticker, took my drink to go, and left.
these stories are getting very predictable... could be why the comments are drying up as well?
ReplyDeleteI do not like stickers. If she had stuck a sticker on me, I would have hit her. Also, yeah, where are the commenters these days?
ReplyDelete^Hiding from your abuse? Seriously, hitting someone because they stuck a sticker on your shirt? Way to be the bigger person.
ReplyDeletechurro, I blame you for having such predictable dates. That or school's out somewhere. Visitor count is holding steady.
ReplyDeleteFirst, they stuck her. Then, she gets a sticker.
ReplyDeleteSomething about this story is a stinker.
I love this gradually evolving trend of people making horrible life decisions and then expecting not to be judged for them.
ReplyDelete"I voluntarily participated in a gang bang, but I'm not a slut, and in fact I expect you to be super-respectful of me."
"I cheated on you, but I'm not a liar, and in fact I expect you to show me more trust in our relationship."
"I put my hand in a blender to see what would happen, but I'm not an idiot, and in fact I expect you to let me be the architect for your house."
I would never in a million years think Lois Lane would act like this. It is an obvious fake; SHAME ON YOU SUPERMAN!
ReplyDelete@wolfie
ReplyDeleteNot sure how blender = architect, but I like the metaphor.
How is a gang bang a "horrible life decision"?
ReplyDeleteAh, why bother, I figured wolfdreams would only hide his misogyny for so long.
I'm also not sure how voluntary it could have been if she was intoxicated.
Sorry Gnome, is choosing to be in a gang bang a GOOD life decision? I wouldn't know, but if YOU voluntarily participated in one and felt like you had a great experience, please feel free to share what made it such a good decision for you!
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's because STDs are like Pokemon and you've "gotta catch em all?" Or maybe having other people respect you for not being promiscuous is simply overrated. I don't know, I'm still brainstorming here. But look, at least now I'm trying to see things from your point of view! :-)
ReplyDelete...I'm rarely around because I'm unemployed and really should be doing my grad school homework. Agnes is rarely around for the same reasons except she has a job. Stupid Agnes and her being employed.
ReplyDeleteI am the 99%.
Churro isn't wrong though, a lot of the stories lately have very much the same sort of flavour to them and almost all play out pretty much the same way.
ReplyDeleteI still love the site and the stories but it's hard to deny it seems to be in a bit of a rut.
Rut or no rut, bad decision or not, I cannot believe that she told him about it on a first date. As in, hi, my name is Jodi...
ReplyDeleteBesides, how much variety can we expect? Crazy only comes in one variety. Maybe two.
She had sex that she regretted. She didn't rob a store, or kidnap anyone, or beat up a guy in a wheelchair. THOSE are bad life decisions all the time.
ReplyDeleteWhether group sex is a good or bad decision depends on how the participants feel about it.
Wasn't it you going on about how you couldn't POSSIBLY be a misogynist because you've had sex with your feminist friends? Were you in a committed, long term relationship with everyone you've slept with? Why is your having sex purely for fun somehow okay, but OP's group sex makes her a "slut" who isn't worthy of respect, ever? Is it all that different than if she'd slept with all of them individually?
Yes, having people respect you for something as stupid as that is extremely overrated. As long as everyone was a consenting adult, there's nothing wrong with it and nothing to judge them for. A woman daring to enjoy sex is still worthy of respect. A hypocritical misogynist, however...
^I agree with wolfie on this one. I believe absolutely that VOLUNTEERING to be gang banged as a teenager is a "horrible life decision".
ReplyDelete"Is it all that different than if she'd slept with all of them individually?"
Are you kidding me? Of course it is! First of all, she was underage and high, which is bad decisions numbers 1 and 2, and secondly, since I doubt protection was much involved she could have easily become pregnant and gotten an STD.
A situation where multiple guys take advantage of a teenage girl doesn't exactly smack of being in control, something she could have been had she A. been smarter and B. had sex with them 1 at a time.
tl,dr
1) Obviously it was a bad decision as she regrets it and "it really messed me up for years afterward".
2) Yes it is different than if she'd slept with them all separately.
3) She was not a "consenting adult" or a "woman daring to enjoy sex", she was a high teenager.
Mediator, I have no doubt it was a bad decision FOR HER. But a lapse in judgment doesn't make her a slut that's never, ever worthy of respect. You'll notice wolfdreams made it sound like all group sex is a bad decision and any woman who participates in it has no right to expect respect. That's what I take issue with. I've already said I don't think it could have been all that consensual if she wasn't in her right mind at the time. That would make her a victim, but we already know wolfdreams doesn't think much of those either.
ReplyDeleteGnome, you're making WAY too many assumptions about my train of thought. It sounds like some unhealthy misandrist trained you in "ultrafeminism 101," where they give you a list of male stereotypes to file us into and teach you that if a man ever does or says anything mean to a woman, he must be a misogynist. Seriously, that's a pretty screwed-up worldview, although I can see how it must be appealing to some women. After all, it means no guy might ever dislike you for who you are - they either like you, or they're misogynists!
ReplyDeleteIn answer to your question, there's nothing wrong with a woman enjoying group sex in a conscious, self-determined way. Personally I would never get involved with somebody like that, but it's a decision I can respect, and some of my close female friends are polyamorous.
That's a decent approach to female sexual empowerment. What this girl did sounds like the complete opposite - she let herself get peer-pressured into a decision that she still regrets to this day. From that, we can infer two things: 1) that she's weak-willed and tractable, & 2) that she desperately seeks attention. (Also, notice how she wears her pain publically on a sticker? Another telltale sign of the classic attention whore.)
My overall point is that this girl is a weak-willed popularity whore and I dislike ANYBODY with those traits regardless of their gender. You, on the other hand, seem to be a misandrist who cloaks her resentment of men by accusing them of misogyny whenever they disagree with you.
Making a decision you regret is one thing, punishing someone who had nothing to do with it is another. The way she presented it makes it seem like she wanted to be judged, so she could continue being hateful toward the guys she dates.
ReplyDeleteYeah I'm with Wolfdreams on this one
ReplyDeleteAh Gnome, can't take the fact that your arguments don't hold water so you attack wolfdreams directly. So far you have tried to expand his arguments to encompass all instances of promiscuity rather than focus on the single instance he was referring to, and the rest of us were discussing. Then you try to work rape allegations into the mix even though none had been previously suggested. Really you need to stop leaping to that. Unless she claims it was you can't start rounding up the witch hunt.
ReplyDeleteWe know that you want to protect the little injured bird, but she doesn't need defense, she needs therapy.
Sexism is also anti masculinism too by the way, thought I'd even that up.
ReplyDelete*high five* to Ipdar.
ReplyDelete*slaps five* to theMediator.
ReplyDeleteGnome, you're sounding worse than Wolfdreams here. Take a deep breath and consider that for a moment: you're sounding WORSE THAN WOLFDREAMS.
ReplyDeleteAh, Ipdar, having trouble with reading comprehension and being a tad hypocritical (you notice wolfdreams didn't hold off on attacking me?) ;)
ReplyDelete"I love this gradually evolving trend of *people* making horrible life decisions and then expecting not to be judged for them."
Last I checked, "people" refers to more than one person. Perhaps the definition varies on your planet? I can't think why else you'd believe it refers to only one specific person.
I never said she'd been raped, although I do think it's possible. I pointed out wolfdreams' tendency to blame victims, hence the example of rape. Really, if you want to criticize my posts, you should be able to read AND understand them first.
Ashley: Thanks for the information, but I don't see where that comes in.
Andrew: Nah, I don't think that's possible.
Gnome, going over each statement with a fine tooth comb trying to find single lines that you can point out doesn't make your argument any more valid; it makes you seem desperate.
ReplyDeleteHold on Mediator I think she might be on to something, see? I can do it too:
ReplyDelete"you notice Wolfdreams didn't hold off on attacking me?" But at least Wolfdreams makes valid relevant points in his arguments on occasion. That he has time to jab back at you is only a bonus for him. Additionally I would go so far as to say that you were the one to inflame him. "Ah, why bother, I figured wolfdreams would only hide his misogyny for so long."
If he has done something else beyond this thread to deserve this I wouldn't know of it, but then again I don't follow him with the same loving gaze that you evidently do.
"Last I checked, "people" refers to more than one person." Your right perhaps I should have clarified how Wolfdreams was using satire to allude to the kind of event that happened in this story (and similar decisions that have be told on this site) and how you said "Whether group sex is a good or bad decision depends on how the participants feel about it." to encompass all group sex both good and bad and attempting to paint him as too conservative even though he had said no such thing on his part.
Then you go on to tell me:
"I never said she'd been raped, although I do think it's possible."
Even though you had said:
"I've already said I don't think it could have been all that consensual if she wasn't in her right mind at the time." The last time I checked non consensual sex IS rape and would go so far as to say that it is the shortest and most complete definition of rape. Thusly did you bring allegations of rape into your argument even though Jodi did not and she even went so far as to say "It was my own free will."
Now I've broken down my analysis so that even you can understand it.
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ReplyDeleteDammit Gnome, I really wanted to be on your side, but you had to go and jump in the deep end of the crazy pool. Now you cost the feminism side too many points.
ReplyDeleteIpdar wins.
ReplyDeleteHey everyone, sorry for the late response. It's obvious that the Gnome went nuts, but since she hates me and refuses to see the logic in anything I say, I felt like it would be useless for me to point out how hypocritical and virulently misandrist she was being - the only way for the lesson to sink in would be if the rest of you explained it to her. Thank you for living up to my expectations (and more)! I laughed my ass off reading this thread.
ReplyDeleteGnome, even setting aside your radical views, I want to point out that you're kind of a bitch. I know that in your rabidly ultrafeminist mind, "bitch" probably translates to "strong woman" but that's the opposite of what I mean. EVERY single time you and I had an argument on this forum, it's YOU who always initiates the personal insults, and then you whine and complain when I retaliate? You're being a whiny little bitch, and I'd call you out on that regardless of your gender.
Thank you, Wolfdreams, for ruining even the very small victory I thought was won here and possibly invalidating the points I had made.
ReplyDeleteWhat? I'm sorry; I didn't mean to undercut you Ipdar. You TOTALLY won - this victory was 100% yours. I just couldn't resist rubbing it in her face a little (because hey, I do believe in equality but I never claimed to be nice). Besides, "whiny little bitch" is pretty gender-neutral - I call my male friends that all the time whenever they complain about ridiculously trivial things.
ReplyDeleteBesides, arguing with the Gnome constantly can be frustrating. I figured maybe if I connected the dots for her and drew her attention to the laws of cause and effect (ie, she insults me, so I insult her back) I can waste less time on flame wars with her. My INTENT was good, even if the execution needs work.
Oh, I don't necessarily believe "bitch" means strong woman, but perhaps next time you could try saying something that's actually insulting rather than lazy?
ReplyDeleteI give up, you two are incorrigible.
ReplyDeleteGnome, I'm not going to toss RANDOM insults at you just to try to make you feel bad. I feel it's more important to have my insults be truthful and accurate depictions of your behavior. That may mean I'll miss a good jab from time to time, but I feel it establishes more credibility to my views. You may laugh at that, but look at the way you tried to distort my opinions and twist my words throughout this thread, and notice how people reacted. So tell me, how's that working out for you?
ReplyDeleteOh, no, I'm not laughing at that...Just at the notion of you having credibility and your belief that I care how you feel about me.
ReplyDelete