The Law of Unattraction

Story Sent in by Gene:

I was out to dinner on my first date with Mae when the waitress came by to take our drink orders. Mae ordered a vodka tonic and I ordered a water. I wasn't in the mood to drink, and I had about a half-hour drive back home.

The waitress left and Mae asked me, "Just water?"

I said, "For now. I might order something stronger with dinner."

She replied, "I'm flattered."

"Flattered? Why?"

She said, "Apparently, you don't need anything to make me look more attractive."

I put two and two together pretty quickly. "Meaning to say that you ordered alcohol because you think I'm unattractive?"

She giggled and said, "You've found us out! That's the main reason why women ever order alcohol: so that the men swarming around them will look even slightly sexy."

I thought for a moment, then said, "I don't think that's true at all."

She said, "No woman would ever admit to it, but it's the God-honest truth."

"So you're saying that I'm unattractive?"

She replied, "Not more than most guys. It's nothing to get upset over. Just let me have my drink and everything will be okay."

"So in a hypothetical world, if we were to date or marry, you'd have to have a stiff drink before we did anything?"

She laughed harder and longer than I've ever heard anyone laugh before. "In an ideal world," she said, "I'd be out on a date with a handsome guy right now."

She laughed more. Our drinks arrived. I had a few sips of water, then stood up, said, "Have a good night, then," and left her, there and then.

Before I even made it back to my car, she texted, "WTF UR JUST GOING TO LEAVE ME HERE???"

I replied, "You don't want to waste your time with unattractive guys, I don't want to waste mine with nasty little princesses. We both win."

She replied, "I guess…"

No need to guess.