8/02/2011

That's Quacktastic

Profile Sent in by Lisa:

Who I'm looking for:

i am done looking for men. i want a duck. a duck is cute, quacks. nothing more. nothing less. cheap to keep. won't ever eat it not even when it dies. if you are a guy then i am not at all interested. if you are a guy with a duck then maybe we can talk. i have to meet the duck first.

just kidding. i don't really want a duck. a man who is like a duck, like a soft pillow that quack quacks is fine with me… i will eat him if he dies. that way his soul will always be part of me in my blood and brain! My fingers will be his fingers. <3
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12 comments:

  1. Andrew Lenahan8/02/2011 8:55 PM

    So you want a new duck? Not a quail or an owl?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dante8/02/2011 9:24 PM

    "I will eat him if he dies".

    lolnope

    ReplyDelete
  3. JMG8/02/2011 10:06 PM

    One with big, webbed feet!
    One that won't steal the beer!
    One that won't raid the icebox!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Shattering looks8/03/2011 2:44 AM

    I would hate to be in a relationship were i literally had to kill myself to get a BJ.. Not interested!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ashley8/03/2011 4:54 AM

    I like the first half of this profile the best.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sean8/03/2011 9:07 AM

    That person needs to meet this person:
    http://www.abadcaseofthedates.com/2010/01/fowl-play.html

    ReplyDelete
  7. Howie Feltersnatch8/03/2011 9:15 AM

    I dated a duck once, but it didn't last long. Her Quack was too big.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Howie Feltersnatch8/03/2011 9:17 AM

    ^ Not that Polka Dot would believe it. She thinks all females are tight. Must be a bit...insecure about her own Poke-A-Twat

    ReplyDelete
  9. TacoDave8/03/2011 7:10 PM

    One that's never gonna migrate or escape?


    I KNEW you were my kind of people here!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Claire (and Nikki)8/05/2011 12:03 AM

    Best part: "My fingers will be his fingers. <3"

    It's the less-than-three that really makes it wonderful. Very sweet.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Polka Dot8/05/2011 3:56 PM

    How did you know, Howie? I totally call it Poke-A-Twat!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous8/28/2013 3:40 PM

    Where do they find these dating profiles? They are always the same format...I wonder...

    ReplyDelete

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