Profile Sent in by Tammy:
My self-summary
To my way of thinking this is a dating site and not an affinity club. If you are here to make friends, locate someone of the same affinity. I am not your man. I am here for an adult relationship with another adult, not some dinner whore who can't find friends in their lives and just want a free dinner and a night out.
I also do not tolerate internet dating site addicts. If you are on more than one site, you are an addict and of no interest to me. If you have been on this site more than 60 days, you are and addict, so don't contact me. What you need is professional help and not more attention you crave which is your real purpose here.
If you are someone who needs to email or chat more than 4 times, I am not the one for you. Email, phone, and then meet. Period. No exceptions.
No tattoo freaks need apply. If you want to be the illustrated woman, seek your attention seeking ilk at a circus sideshow with the other freaks. You and the elephant man will make a perfect couple.
If you email me, and I reply, I expect an answer within 24 hours. Any longer than that and you are eliminated - permanently.
I do not date older women, fat women, women with little kids or drama queens with the attention span of a goldfish. Move along.
You will have to have at least one full length picture. Obviously old pictures, pictures out of focus, pictures at a distance and multiple pictures of dogs and you in cahoots with your girl group will eliminate you as well.
I am good looking, financially in far better shape than most and the best catch on this site compared to all these male losers. I will not suffer idiots or stupidity.
If I was a demigod among insects I might be bitter too. Or maybe I'm just an insecure idiot with a huge ego and a childish need to overcompensate.
ReplyDeleteDouchebag!:D
ReplyDeleteOh god, OP, PLEASE post a link to this profile. I need to read the whole thing.
ReplyDeleteOP here.. I haven't been reading this site very long and I'm not sure of the etiquette.. do we really post links to profiles?
ReplyDeleteWell, I figure I can at least copy-paste the rest:
ReplyDeleteWhat I’m doing with my life
Making money, traveling and enjoying life.
I’m really good at
Everything.
The first things people usually notice about me
My physique.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I make use of my time making money, keeping in shape, traveling the world and living life to the fullest. I don't have time to waste reading books, going to dull formula movies or watching TV>
I’m looking for
* Girls who like guys
* Ages 18-99
* Near me
* Who are single
* For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You are not an dating site addict, not an old woman, not fat, not broke and can communicate like a grown-up that reflects your physical age and not a adolescent mental age.
Posting the profile this way is enough. Posting more identifying information might invite less-savory folks to harass the profile writer, and we don't endorse such tomfoolery.
ReplyDeleteGlad you're here, though. Welcome to the site!
"You should message me if you're not an old woman."
ReplyDelete"I'm looking for ages 18-99."
Hm.
Looking for ages 18-99, and he doesn't date older women. Therefore he's either a centenarian or a moron. Anyone want to take bets?
ReplyDeleteThis dude belongs in Orange County, Vegas or Miami. Where people look amazing, are humble and are good at everything except getting their age ranges straight.
ReplyDeleteHey! Who pasted my profile on here?!
ReplyDeletePlease don't tell my wife. She'll laugh at me. She knows I'm not all-that-and-a-bag-of-Cheetos. When I tell her "I have a six pack!" she replies "You've got a keg. Or two."
Rich guy lol. I wish I could be that cocky :(
ReplyDeleteI'm really good at
ReplyDeleteEverything
Except proofreading.
And any other kind of reading.
My profile is really something like this, only like 50% less cocky and with a sprinkle of humor.
ReplyDeleteIt works wonders, get tons of replies from people sick of the normal "i'm nice, i work out and i like wine and sometimes danceing out" guys.
This guy though.... took it to a WHOLE 'NOTHER LEVEL
Looks like Patrick Bateman is on the loose again.
ReplyDeleteI would like to contrast the sentence "If you are here to make friends, locate someone of the same affinity." with the part of his profile (posted by T.M.I. that says he's looking "For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating." Someone should tell him that he's obviously also looking for an affinity club.
ReplyDeleteHe does not suffer stupidity, but rather from it.
ReplyDelete@Amanda
ReplyDeleteThat and the age range were the first things I noticed about it.
I bet Wolfdreams01 wrote this.
ReplyDeleteAw, did I hurt the widdle Cori's feelings in my earlier post? I'm truly sorry Cori, I assure you that I didn't mean to deprecate the Ol Anus family name. Everyone knows that you and the other Ol Anus's are completely full of wisdom. What else would an Ol Anus like you be full of, after all?
ReplyDelete