7/01/2011

Jesus Is Ready to Settle Down

Profile Sent in by Kolleen:

Who I'm looking for

I am seeking a lady who is done with drama and ready for true romance...one who can appreciate what it means to be genuinely WANTED...by a true gentleman with a slow hand and easy touch who will worship her like a queen.

ME: 33... Handsome...Well-groomed...Fit...A natural comedian...A superb listener and trusted counselor to millions...A leader among men...

YOU: Mature: 25-55... Reasonably attractive... Fit... Classy... Professional... Financially secure...

Please include your first name, ALL CAPS, in the subject line so I know you are REAL!!!


(Kolleen says: "His profile was accompanied by a single blurry picture.  I therefore have no clue as to who he is, considering he's a 'trusted counselor to millions.'")
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4 comments:

  1. Maxwell7/01/2011 12:11 PM

    Dude - you want to date the Pointer Sisters. Nut the fuck up and admit it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sawyer867/01/2011 3:16 PM

    I was blurry for most of my childhood & only really started to come into focus in my early teens. It's a phase many go through & grow out of.

    Writing your name in upper case makes sense cause everyone knows only imaginary people write their/there/they're names in lower case duh.

    ReplyDelete
  3. theMediator7/04/2011 10:42 AM

    Sounds like you got a message from a Sasquatch with a comb.

    ReplyDelete
  4. TacoDave7/05/2011 6:24 PM

    Jerry Springer - you are truly a trusted counselor to millions, but you are definitely not 33. Nice try.

    Jer-ry!
    Jer-ry!
    Jer-ry!

    ReplyDelete

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