Profile Sent in by Deepa:
About me:
Some things are better stale: bread, soda, marshmallow peeps… but I don't want a stale romance. I'm constantly finding ways to spice up my love life. Whether that means toys, videos, or inviting more people, you have to be ready.
Maybe you'll be in bed at 3:30 in the morning. All of a sudden you hear a bullhorn and then I pour sand all over you. We then wash up (a bit) and go the distance.
Surprises are all I'm full of. Perhaps another time you'll wake up to find yourself tied! Or naked! Or outside!
I've been told that my ways are "crazy" but what is crazy?
Surprises aren't all he's full of.
ReplyDelete"Perhaps another time you'll wake up to find yourself tied! Or naked! Or outside!" Or dead!
Who likes stale bread?
ReplyDeleteThe sex things I could handle, but stale bread? That's a dealbreaker right there :P
ReplyDeleteStale soda too... soda with any fizz to it is just disgusting. I have never tried a stale marshmallow though.
ReplyDelete^Bah it should read soda WITHOUT any fizz to it... now with any lol.
ReplyDeleteStale peeps are awesome.
ReplyDeleteNothing says spicy romance better than sand in your lady's hooha.
ReplyDeleteWell, "crazy" is getting away with all of that legally. Unconscious people can't really consent to being stripped naked and tied up.
ReplyDeleteIt is possible to preconsent to that -- that is, to tell your partner in advance that it's all right to do such things. But there's no way that you should do that with someone you don't already know well and trust. Mentioning it in a profile is *way* premature and creepy.
DeleteWho hasn't woken up to find themselves covered in honey and fire ants? Soooo sexy!
ReplyDelete"Perhaps another time you'll wake up to find yourself tied! Or naked! Or outside!"
ReplyDeleteI actually had all THREE of those things happen to me in a nightmare once. Does making people's nightmares come true count as crazy? Because if so, this guy is DEFINITELY crazy.
"Some people say that it's 'illegal' to drug a person, bury them up to their necks in my garden, and water them like a plant, hoping they grow into a people tree, but I think they just don't get my crazy, sexy ways!"
ReplyDeleteYou know, I don't know if a guy or a girl wrote this. "Deepa" seems gender-neutral to me, and this article doesn't have the convenient "written by a guy/girl" at the bottom. I find it funny that most people think that this was a guy, I thought (and still think) it was a chick writing this.
ReplyDeleteI normally wake up to find myself naked. Especially if I'm with a partner. I haven't worn pajamas regularly since age 12.
ReplyDeleteBut sand...no thanks.