Story Sent in by Oliver:
I was out at a pub with a group of friends when I met Erin. One of my friends had brought her along, and she and I fell into conversation. We ended up talking for close to two and a half hours, and by the end of the evening, I had her number and a pretty good feeling about her.
Our first date was short, a learn-more-about-you-over-coffee thing. It was noncommittal and friendly, and I think that we both liked everything that we heard about the other, as there was a second date.
I had the idea to take her out for a picnic in a local park. It started out great, and my good feeling had grown into a great one. She had a great sense of humor and was very bright, two things together that had been lacking from any relationship I'd had in recent memory.
After we ate, she slid onto her back on the picnic blanket, and I lay down next to her. She pointed up at the partly cloudy sky and said, "That cloud looks like Australia."
I pointed to another and said, "That one looks like a baseball cap."
She pointed to a long one, closer to the horizon. "That one looks like a dinosaur's tail."
I said, "Or a very large toenail."
She said, "Fine. I'll settle this," then stood up and walked off. I jumped up and followed her to another couple, around our age, who sat on a nearby bench.
"Excuse me," Erin asked them, "Can you tell me what you think that cloud looks like?" She pointed to the long cloud in question. "We're having a disagreement that maybe you can settle."
The couple looked at the cloud and the guy said, "It looks like a short snake."
The girl said, "Or a long worm."
"Or a dinosaur's tail?" Erin asked, hopefully.
They looked at it again and the girl said, "I guess it could look like a dinosaur's tail. Sure."
Erin turned to me and said, "Told you! They think it looks like a dinosaur's tail."
I asked the couple, "Could it also look like a big toenail?"
The girl replied, "Absolutely."
I smiled at Erin, thinking that this was all in good fun. She turned red, said, "You're all in this together! It looks like a dinosaur's tail! You're all stupid!" and she stomped away.
Surprised, I left the staring couple behind and caught up with Erin. To my further shock, she was crying. I tried to talk to her, but all she would say was, "I want to go home."
Her home was a long walk, a semi-long bus ride, or a short drive away. I offered to drive her, but she said that she'd rather walk. As a last-ditch effort to save things, I told her, "Maybe dinosaur tails look like toenails to certain people."
She replied, "Shut the hell up. I'm going on vacation," and continued on her way.
I called her a couple of times after that date and left messages for her. She never responded. All over a stupid, toenail-shaped cloud.
OP is obviously an idiot, no clouds look like toenails...
ReplyDeleteYou told us she was bright, then suddenly she broke down into this. I think she might have a problem with refusal/rejection of people and this was her way of "letting you go easy"
^Or maybe she was just nuts. Maybe.
ReplyDeleteClearly a variation of the Rorschach test. Erin liked OP but wanted to be sure about him before committing. By seeing something so boring as a big toenail in the clouds, OP demonstrated his complete unsuitability and broke her heart.
ReplyDeleteThe other couple also failed the test, but they had a legitimate excuse in that a total stranger had just walked up to them and asked them to describe a cloud.
I have to agree with Jared that girl was freaking NUTS. OP as the saying goes you dodged a HUGE freaking crazy ass bullet with that one.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOliver, you sound like a jackhole for asking the couple
ReplyDelete"Could it also look like a big toenail?"
I mean, who the hell cares.
It's a cloud and subjective to whatever creative mind somebody has as to what it may or may not look like.
You could have left well enough alone with this chick....and then to call her a couple of times after that date and leaving a message.
Ya sounded kinda desperate Oliver.
I think the girl was (insert some insipid and/or nonsensical reason why she overreacted).
ReplyDeleteI think it's pretty obvious her last serious boyfriend had big toenails and that the relationship ended badly, hence her reaction.
ReplyDeleteGirl was clearly insane, but dude showing concern and calling her back after she told him to "shut the hell up" indicate a doormat-ey behavior on his part.
ReplyDeleteActually for some reason this just sounds like bad PMT- you can go from happy and cheerful to angry and crying over something as tiny and pointless as this. The 'I want to go home' bit sealed that idea for me, and she probably didn't return calls out of embarrassment :(
ReplyDeleteTheMediator
ReplyDeleteJa obviously but that isn't the case with this story. Firstly this was their second date, or third meeting not a relationship, friendship, romantic or other*.
Then consider that not only did she get angry (She turned red) but what she became angry over/what he did to "hurt" her.
Then she also turns her crazy on an innocent couple, plus the "You're all in this together! It looks like a dinosaur's tail! You're all stupid!", very rude, acerbic & like totally non Zen-like, with a hint of paranoia.
I mean I get where the "showing concern" comes from seeing as she was crying but there comes a time in every young man's life where he.. err, where was I going with this?.. Oh right, Norway has very leniaent criminal justice laws.
"Shut the hell up. I'm going on vacation" new favourite line.
* Friends with benefits
Maybe she was sensitive about her toenails for some reason?
ReplyDelete. . . Yeah, I give up.