Aho

Story Sent in by Gertie:

Ben took me out for sushi on our first date. We sat down, he spun the menu around to face me, and said, "I know this can all be a little confusing. I'll explain it to you: sushi and sashimi are two different things. Sushi is—"

I interrupted him with a smile and said, "I've had sushi before. I appreciate it, but you don't have to explain it to me."

He looked at me, then turned back down to the menu and said, "Sushi comes with rice, sashimi doesn't. Now, there's hamachi, which is yellowtail, maguro, which is tuna, unagi, which is—"

"Ben," I cut in, "I know. It's really okay. I've had sushi before."

He waited a moment, took a deep breath, and went on, "Unagi is eel. Now, it'll be served with pink stuff and green stuff. The pink stuff is—"

"Ginger," I finished, "And the green is wasabi."

He waited a moment, then said, "The pink stuff is pickled ginger, and the green stuff is wasabi. You probably don't want to try the wasabi, since it's very hot—"

"I love wasabi," I said, "But thanks for the warning."

"The wasabi is hot and can be used to flavor your dining experience either on the fish itself or in the soy sauce. For you, I recommend the tuna roll or the California roll, to start."

I glanced at the menu and said, "I was actually checking out the maki. There's a good-looking rainbow roll and a—"

"For you, I recommend the tuna roll or the California roll. Start easy, see if you like it."

I said, "Have you been listening to anything I've been saying? I've had sushi a hundred times. I told you over the phone that I liked it. It was my suggestion, remember?"

He gave me a good, long look and finally said, "Wow. What a bitch you are."

I froze, collected my thoughts, said, "Goodnight," and left him there.

He sent me a text a day later that said, "Hey, sorry about last night. We should try sushi sometime."

I'll be sure to do that.