If I Had Some Talent

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Story Submitted by Justin:

Fiona and I met at a party that mutual friends threw. She had come there with another guy ("Not my boyfriend," she told me) and we spent a good amount of time talking. She gave me her number, and the next thing you knew, we were on a date.

Fiona was a musician, and she asked me if I wanted to hear her play her guitar after dinner. I did, and after we were done, she led me to her car, and she pulled out a guitar. We walked to a nearby park bench, we sat down, and she played.

It took less than a minute for me to realize that she had likely not been a guitar player for very long. In fact, I wondered if she had ever picked it up before that evening. I don't think she formed a single cohesive chord, although her singing voice was good.

She finished playing that first song and I told her, "Very good. You have a great voice."

She thanked me, then launched into another song. Again, she was basically just strumming and moving her hands about at random. She sang along, but there was no rhyme nor reason to her playing. It was just plain strumming.

"I've been playing for five years," she told me, "I've written some original songs that I want to put onto an album."

"Your playing is sort of... experimental," I offered.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well, your voice is great. The playing is... not like anything I've heard before."

She beamed and said, "Thanks!"

"Have you taken lessons?"

She laughed and asked, "Do you really think I need them? I'm a natural. Name a song and I'll play it."

I named the one of the few songs I knew how to play, myself: If I Had a Hammer. She butchered it. I asked her if I could try it. She handed me the guitar, and I played it, a mistake here or there, but ultimately at least it sounded like the song.

She shook her head as I played and said, "You're doing a few things wrong." I handed her the guitar and she stumbled through it again.

I said, "But you're not really playing the tune. It's mostly random strumming."

She said, "It might sound that way to an untrained ear, but I can assure you, I'm playing flawlessly."

I replied, "You're just strumming randomly.  Half of the time you're not even making chords."

"Okay.  Everyone I've ever played for has told me how good I am.  Your jealousy is showing."

I said, "It's honesty.  You have a nice voice, but I think your playing could use some work."

"My playing is flawless.  You made fifty mistakes on a little folk song.  Count how many I make on it."

She played something, which I guessed she thought was If I Had a Hammer again.  No chords, no tune, just strumming and her voice.  Once she was done, she asked, "How many mistakes, Jimi Hendrix?"

"None.  You can't make mistakes on a song you're not playing to begin with."

"I'm going to be big," she said, "You wait and see!"

She jammed a bit more until she stopped for a bit and said, "You're messing me up.  Leave me, please."

I did as she asked.  I haven't yet seen her name lighting up any marquees, but that could also be because I haven't been looking for it.