4/15/2011

This Notion That the Motion of Your Lotion

Email Submitted by Jordan:

Damn u pasty white.  Ever think about taking a pic of urself without flash!!

Im Jen and I sell lotions.  This one lotion I sell is homemade and a tanning lotion - u don't have to go to the tanning beds no more!  This one uses natural salts and sugars to tan ur skin the naturally way!  ONLY $19.95 PER BAR.

I sell lots of lotions but only 2 I make at home.  The others I buy wholesale and sell them cheap to u and urs.... the other homemade lotion I sell is a skin rejoovinator that takes the hard crusty skin and seeps in to make lushus healthy skin once more!!  A $1MILLION DOLLAR VALUE. In ur photos it looks like u might have dry skin.  Nothing else working?  Try my lotion.  ONLY $39.95 OR $40.95 PER BAR.

It's all natural and homemade.  Other ones I sell are just not.  Make them and sell them that's me!

Also ur hot.  WOULD BE HOTTER WITH MY LOTION THOOUGH!!

JEN
Posted by at
Labels: ,

10 comments:

  1. JMG4/15/2011 2:08 PM

    THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUGH.

    ReplyDelete
  2. churro4/15/2011 2:40 PM

    Damn, now even women are trying the Mystery "put 'him down so he wants you more" approach of douchebaggery. Sprinkled with a dose of shameless exploitation to tie it all together of course.

    ReplyDelete
  3. J.L.B4/15/2011 4:21 PM

    Ugh. Such poor writing skills.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Claire (and Nikki)4/15/2011 4:24 PM

    a) A Bad Case of the Can't Make my Sales Quotas
    b) It puts the lotion in the basket?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonyme4/16/2011 12:10 AM

    There must be some ebook out there which teaches you how to make millions working from home that has a chapter on 'How Dating Sites Can Increase Your Sales And Help You Make Friends'

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous4/16/2011 9:31 AM

    C) She really likes Goodbye Horses

    ReplyDelete
  7. Unknown4/17/2011 6:04 PM

    "This one uses natural salts and sugars to tan ur skin the naturally way!"

    Interesting take on "natural" tanning.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous4/17/2011 8:37 PM

    I lol'd at Rejooooooooooooovinator.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ipdar4/18/2011 7:32 PM

    It puts the lotion on its skin!

    ReplyDelete
  10. tanette132/23/2013 4:33 PM

    Wait. A bar of lotion?

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.