4/11/2011

So Void Everywhere?

Email Submitted by Kris:

You list all of my favorite bands in your profile.

I'm Martha. If you recognize me, it's with good reason. I'm an escort. Chances are if you've been to any party in the area for the past ten years, you've seen me strutting my stuff. What makes our company different is that we cater only to legitimate, bonafide clientele. No college students or shifty bachelor parties here!

I don't mind saying that I've been on the arm of politicians and major, hot, young businessmen. For a low introductory rate of only just $1,599/hour, I can be your companion for a night of nearly anything you'd like! Conditions and contract apply, void where prohibited.

This offer is only being sent to the top 1% of users on this site. If you are among them, then you should celebrate by taking me up on this generous offer!

Warmly,
Martha
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5 comments:

  1. Pinkerton4/11/2011 10:12 AM

    "My cousin is also a Prince of Nigeria, and will pilot us around in his private jet while we drink champagne. Please send all money before date in unmarked bills."

    ReplyDelete
  2. theMediator4/11/2011 11:05 AM

    "Chances are if you've been to any party in the area for the past ten years, you've seen me strutting my stuff."
    "No college students or shifty bachelor parties here!"

    These two lines seem to cancel each other out, don't they? Besides what kind of parties does she think this guy has been to that he could afford $1600/hour?

    Also, "a low introductory rate", what is she, a used car?

    ReplyDelete
  3. churro4/11/2011 11:24 AM

    Martha and Bridgette together are pulling something fishy here...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sawyer864/11/2011 12:27 PM

    ^ Yeah good catch.

    ReplyDelete
  5. april4/12/2011 3:29 PM

    ^^It got changed since yesterday! I guess it was just a typo :(

    ReplyDelete

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