Phony Calls

Story Submitted by Belle:

Graham and I were out to dinner at a restaurant on our first date. He was loud and obnoxious, although I was willing to give him a chance, that is, until his phone rang.

To my surprise, he picked it up. "Hey, Yoki!" he shouted into the phone, "I'm on that date. That date!" he reached across the table and touched my hand. I drew it away. 

He winked at me and continued into the phone: "Oh, she's fine. Her ass?" he looked at me and asked, "Hey, stand up for a sec?"

I shook my head. He said into the phone, "No go on the ass, my friend. She's a feisty one." He winked at me again and I felt nauseous. He went on, "I know, that is a good sign."

Under the table, I texted a friend of mine: "Call me with an emergency asap."

Graham went on, "Yah, man. I'd totally suck the piss out of her." He winked at me again. My phone rang. I answered it. It was my friend with her "emergency."

I said to Graham, "I'm so sorry. I have to go. My friend has an emergency."

"What?" Graham said to me, then into his phone, "She says she's got an emergency. Hang on," he looked back at me, "What?"

"An emergency," I repeated, "I have to—"

"What, man?" he asked Yoki over the phone. He turned back to me and said, "Is this for real? Yoki says for me to make sure that it's a legit emergency."

I said, "My friend's calling from the emergency room. Her parents are out of state. I was going to spend the night at her house. I really have to go."

Firmly hammering the final nail into his coffin, Graham asked, "I thought that you were going to spend the night with me."

Fighting the urge to rip his face off, I stood up and said, "I'm really sorry about this."

He said into his phone, "Yoki, I'll call you back... what? Ha! That's right man, that's goddamn right!"

I left him there and then. How long he remained on the phone, chatting with his pal Yoki, I'll never know. He contacted me several times after that, but his messages were routinely ignored.