He Might Be Teaching Your Kids

Story Submitted by Mae:

Chad and I were both volunteer teachers in an after-school program.  We met after classes were over one day, migrated the conversation to a bar, and he asked me out for that weekend.

We had planned to meet at a nearby restaurant.  I arrived first, and he showed up already tipsy.  He slid into the booth and said, "Hey, those kids at work... they're little shits, right?  I just want to give 'em all a heave-ho if you know what I'm saying?"

I said, "Not really."

He said, "I'll show you what I mean," then slithered out of the booth and motioned for me to follow him.

"We're not having dinner?" I asked.

He said, "We are, but first you've got to see this."  He laughed loudly, and I followed him out of the restaurant and around to the rear parking lot.

He walked to a large plastic garbage bin, opened it up, and looked inside.  "This'll do," he said, then hoisted it up, above his head, yelled, "Heave-ho!" and pitched it right onto the hood and windshield of someone's Mercury, causing a bit of damage.

"Holy shit," I said, backing away.  He approached me with a crazed look in his eye and I yelled, "Stay away from me!  You're nuts!"

He replied, "Only as nuts as I look!" then laughed long and hard again.  I took my opportunity to run, which I did effectively enough to lose him.

I felt terrible about the damage to the car, so I called the restaurant from a pay phone to inform them that someone had vandalized a car in their lot.  When they asked me for the name of the person who vandalized it, I told them.  Then they asked for my contact info and I gave it to them.  In retrospect, I guess I could have called them from my cell, after all.

That was earlier this year, and I haven't heard from anyone about it since.  Although I dread having to interact with Chad again (hopefully it won't come to that), I think that I did the right thing.