4/21/2011

A Eugenic Personality

Email Submitted by Patrick:

Hi Patrick-

Thanks for your message.  I'm from a big family (six brothers and sisters NOT including me) and seeing all of them as often as possible is very important to me.  I want a big family of my own.  Strength in numbers! :D

I'm at the peak of my condition and am on here to find a lifemate.  It might be you.  It might not.  First though you need to understand and help me with something:

I'd like my future kids to have the best life that they possibly can.  As such, would you mind forwarding to me (however painful it might be - it's important) the ages and ways of death of any family members going back to grandparents at least?  I want to make sure that there aren't undesirable genetic issues in your family that would thus make us incompatible.  Nothing personal - I know you can't control your own genetics!  But better to find out now if you have flaws, yes?

So if you could write me back with that info that would be great.  Thank you!

Brenda
Posted by at
Labels: ,

14 comments:

  1. Agnes4/21/2011 8:56 AM

    Dear Brenda,

    I too want to give my potential future offspring the best possiblee chance of a healthy, happy life. Thank you for letting me know of the undesirable outlook issues in your family that would make us incompatible. Something peronal- I know you can control your superiority complex! But better to find out now that you have flaws, yes?

    Patrick

    ReplyDelete
  2. theMediator4/21/2011 9:49 AM

    Did I mention my great-grandfather Adolf?

    Brenda

    ReplyDelete
  3. Claire (and Nikki)4/21/2011 12:44 PM

    I dated a eugenicist once. Surprisingly, he was even less subtle about his belief in genetic superiority than Brenda. But GODDAMNED the oral sex was good.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Howie Feltersnatch4/21/2011 1:02 PM

    ^ funny...he said having sex with you was like banging your great-great-great grandmother...
    a dead lay! hee hee

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous4/21/2011 1:04 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous4/21/2011 1:06 PM

    She could just do what the ancient Egyptian royalty did to keep the bloodlines pure: inbreed.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Claire (and Nikki)4/21/2011 1:19 PM

    Actually, Howie, we never got to have sex b/c his ADHD medication made his dick unable to stay erect. I once gave him an hour-long blow job just to get him to come once in our relationship.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Jenny4/21/2011 2:22 PM

    My family is so German that I actually *have* a grandpa Adolph. And he fought for Allied forces in WWII. I imagine his moniker made things kind of complicated....

    ReplyDelete
  9. Howie Feltersnatch4/21/2011 3:26 PM

    ^^ Your fiance is a lucky, lucky man, Nikki!

    ReplyDelete
  10. TacoDave4/21/2011 8:10 PM

    My uncle said a similar thing to me when I got engaged.

    "Now Taco, you know our family line doesn't have much disease in it. Before you go through with the marriage, you should really get to know her family history and make sure her relatives don't all die from the same genetic diseases. You don't want to bring that into the Dave family or pass it on to your kids, do you?"

    We've been happily married for almost 13 years, so he can shut his face.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous4/21/2011 9:09 PM

    Nikki: Some people would count oral sex as "having sex"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. tanette132/18/2013 1:40 PM

      some people would. some people wouldn't.

      Delete
  12. Kat4/22/2011 12:46 AM

    Dear Brenda,

    You first. Oh, and at least as far back as great-great-grandparents, with any available medical records. I must have a high level of certainty that you are not flawed.

    I await your documentation,
    Me

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous5/01/2014 4:55 AM

    She said so herself, "she has a condition". Now what exactly this condition is, is debatable. I vote for insanity. Anyone? Anyone?

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.