¡Cuidado Llamas!

Story Submitted by Norma:

Ryan was a gregarious guy who worked in computer networking, and we had met online.  He and I were taking a walk after brunch on our first date when he turned to me and asked, "Do you know the sound a llama makes when it mates?"

I searched my memories, but wouldn't you know it, I couldn't recall if I knew the answer to his question.  I said, "No."

He replied, "It sounds a lot like a person.  It's creepy."

"I see.  And why would you ask?"

He said, "If we end up in bed, I'd want you to know that it was me and not a llama."

"You'd be surprised," he said, "People are very similar to llamas."  We happened to be walking past a bakery, and he said, "Wait right here," and went inside.

A minute later, he emerged with a cinnamon roll and ate the entire thing, right in front of me.  He asked, "What do you think of that?"

I replied, "I think you're a little strange."

He said, "Fuck you, llama hater."

I was at a loss for words, then was able to say, "I don't get what you're saying."

He rolled his eyes, took my hand, and said, "Let's walk a bit more.  It will all become clear to you."

We walked another 10 minutes in silence, and ended up back at his car.  He said, "Well, goodnight," then kissed my cheek.  It was about 1pm.  He entered his car and drove away.  I guessed that he wasn't interested and came up with that cockamamie scheme to end the date, but he texted me three times over the next two days, asking me out to see a movie.  I ignored his messages.